Judge — June 16, 1894 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

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PERHAPS Mr. McClave got his money of Richard Croker. lens Sore AND QUIGG have shown us what there is in a name. ese Miss BEVERIDGE is suing for a divorce from her own folly, and shell never get it. eee It MAY be remarked, if one doesn’t care for horticulture, that Mr. Flower blooms at the mouth, eae S¢UCH WATER at Niagara, a «local weather-report. We have long suspected this, oe L'TTLE ALECK of Servia requires the same kind of spanking that was given the little khedive of Egypt. DJ: MEYER kills by inches instead of with a club, Hence he is guilty merely of murder in the second degree. : «ose HE BEST THING about a certain police commissioner, as Mr. Hooligan has re- marked, would be his McClave of absence. ‘OXEY was nominated to both the jail and the congress, and his election to the former has the approval of the entire country. ** What are you d Pat— MISS RuSsE perhaps thinks that it is more decorous in grand opera to quarrel with a rival singer than with a mere temporary husband. T TOOK YEARS to discover that Washington had a mother, and now that lady has a monument. Justice is dilatory, but time is long. NGLAND is reading quite extensively Mr. Stead's book on Chicago wickedness. It does one’s soul good to consider the sins of the, other fellows. 8 eee OSEBERY wins on the turf too, All that man has to do is to hold up his platter, having previously made it large enough to protect him from the ensuing avalanche. MAUD BANKS needn't ery out that women must have their rights. All they have to do is to go ahead and take them, and it is now so easy to do it that they needn't learn how. seTHE BALLOT will overthrow Wall street,” says Governor Waite. “Tf it doesn’t the man who will not bare his breast to bullets is not aman.” And if he does, old fellow, he won't be a man for any great length of time, bet your Mexican dollars on that. THE WRONG, MASK. ing with the mask, Pat?” Shure, an’ me bye Tim is ketcher fer his base-ball noine an” asked me t’ buy him wan,” BUTTERMILK AS INSPIRATION. SOON, according to “Dick Dasher” of the Dispatch, there will be more buttermilk than beer sold over the Pittsburg bars. Here is a sur- prising discovery. About how much alcohol is there in a pint of butter- milk, and when shall we begin to hear lectures by Brother Dow on the worm of the churn? THE WHEEL AND THE BALLOT. WOMEN do not ride the bicycle. They get their exercise in trying to mount and subsequently picking themselves up. We are aware that there is a man who says be has seen a woman ride two blocks; but it is too evident that he wants to run for office when the sex votes, and his lie is too palpable for serious consideration. A CHEAP ACTOR. HENRY, the anarchist, cried “Courage, comrades!” in a thin, piping voice, just before he was pushed under the knife, and directly it transpired that he was dead before the knife reached him. Possibly here was a brave man; but it is more reasonable to suppose that his love of the theatrical was stronger than his fear of death. MR. WHITNEY’S AMBITION. MB: WHITNEY may run for governor of this state, with the pre dency in view; but so far as is known he has not lost all of hi political prudence. Let him recall the remark of Artemus Ward during a critical period of the Democratic war against the union, “If I'm drafted,” said Artemus after profound reflection, “I shall resign.” THEIR SOUL-STIRRING ARDOR. THERE IS NOT a woman in this part of the world who is not considering her rights and making speeches about them. Various household duties are neglected to attend to that, after the manner of Mrs. Jellyby in her devotion to Borrioboola Gha It will not do to say that the sex is barren of ideas, though it may have only one at a time. Undoubtedly women will vote in due season ; but when the time comes there will be thou- sands of them so zealous in preparation and demand that they will altogether forget to go to the ballot-box. A BLIGHTED BLOOM. HERE HAS BEEN much partisan legis- lation in this state, but there has been as much partisan veto, Governor Flower in judging the former has omitted all recogni- tion of the good involved in behalf of the many outside of partisanism ; and everybody knows that without such work as is done by the Lexow committee there would be no pro- tection against the politicians who have rob- bed this city so largely and so long. No— | this will be a mighty poor year for Mr. Flower to run again; and the presidency is as far out of his reach as the man in the moon. . THE WISDOM IN WHITE AND BLUE, THE TITLE of the composition of the sweet-girl graduate must be as long as her train, It must be intricate and mysterious, and treat of forces that are total strangers to the average of mankind, and to herself as well. It would be pleasant if she were to write simply and entertain- ingly; but the essay of the male graduate is her model and her teachers Fill allow nothing that does not give apparent evidence of study and pro- fundity. Poor girl! Perhaps she can find the meaning of her words in the stars ; but, anyhow, she has this comfort—she will never have to do it again. THE WOMAN FINANCIER. LET US NOT be too rude in discussing Mrs. Kate Bradford of Brook- lyn, who is now absent because she tried to borrow money and pay a hundred per cent. yearly interest on it. Ferdinand Ward had the same idea, and there were many men who believed in him and drew their inter- est with rapidity and regularity until the crash came and surprised as well as injured some of them. Mrs. Howe of Boston was believed in by such experienced ladies as Kate Field and Abigail Dodge. But Mrs. Bradford was the meanest of the lot. She ruined not only a good many strangers, but her dear, doting, trusting husband. That is the unpardon- able sin, comicbooks.com