Judge — June 2, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IN THE SAME BOAT. seMANMA,” said Willie after he had come from school, “I saw a poor little boy on my way home who had never even heard of ice-cream.” “ That was too bad,” said Willie's mother. “ What did you say to him?” “I said,” replied Willie earnestly, “that I had al- most forgotten it myself.” HE WOULD NEED A CLEW. ‘THE next time I go to that Episcopal church I am going to take a detective along,” said Mr. Taddells. “Why?” asked his wife. “To see if he can track the rector through the service.” cS ae — THE PERSISTENT AC ie?" Acrxt—"' Ts the lady of the how 7 Kansas MAN—"* Yes; but she ain't feelin’ very well this morning. And he didn’t. AceNt—" Oh, T won't detain her but a moment.” TOO POOR FOR THE AILMENT. E WAS moody and dispirited, and had apparently been brocding over something for some time, Finally he looked up and said slowly, “Well, I'll have to give it up. I've made a hard fight, but the odds are too great and money is too scarce. I'm going home now, and to-morrow, when it becomes known that I've failed, I'll be suffering with a severe case of nervous prostration and no one will be allowed to disturb me.” “ Won't work,” said his friend sententiously. “It'll have to,” protested the moody man, “Hang it! it’s a matter of necessity, not of choice. I can’t help myself.” “Oh, you can fail all right,” explained the friend. “You have that privilege, but you can’t be completely prostrated by your terrible misfortune. The public won't stand it.” “Why not?” ‘You're not rich enough. Nervous prostration doesn’t go with a man who has less than a million, No, sir; you'll have to stand up and take your medicine and make believe you like it, If you try the other plan a deputy-sheriff will yank you out of bed.” GETTING EVEN. : Suau Boy—""I Flat-hunter —" Dear me, what a strong smell of boiled cabbage! Is this a usual Y eDrror—" Ves.” thing?" SMALL nov—" Well, I_wish yer'd announce ter de public dat owin’ ter Ketcher Tim Muy 's habin’ de measles de game between de Hillbillies an’ de T’ird-avenoo Coyotes Janitor—\t happens occashunal, mum, There's been a row betune th’ sicond an’ thurrud flures, an’ th’ sicond flure is gittin’ aven.” is postponed.” RACING AT BLACKVILLE, TEARS. TEARS more effective are than words From many an Eve's daughter, Which shows that oftentimes the wind Less powerful is than water, AN UNPLEASANT IN- NOVATION. 66 VOT made you leave Cox- ey's army “ Dey wouldn't Lonc-Leccrp Petr—"* Hi, yo! App'mattix! yo’ doan’ ‘pear ter be in dis race nohow. — outen a termater-can.” RIGHT IN THEIR LINE, +6 YOU wouldn't think a wo- man of seventy-five could ce a minuet.” “1 don't know. The wo- men. of ‘seventy-six danced it continuall A HAMMOCK. A HAMMOCK seems a fishing- net, A pretty good all-rounde ‘The fish that one expects to get ‘A perch and then a flounder. me drink da 0 ‘long.” comicbooks.com