Judge, 1894-05-19 · page 3 of 16
Judge — May 19, 1894 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical vignettes typical of Judge's humor: **"Clearly a Doer of the Word"** mocks a man named Palmer who joined church to "please his wife" while allegedly getting drunk at the church saloon—hypocrisy between professed faith and actual behavior. **"Two Views of a Full Moon"** is a simple children's joke comparing the moon to a gold plate and a vaccination. **"Where She Drew the Line"** satirizes newspaper women: Carrie Dareall resigned from the "Trumpet," with the joke being she drew the line at covering a professional-woman's-league meeting—suggesting she'd report on anything sensational but balked at serious professional news. The remaining vignettes are brief humorous dialogues about business, art, and timekeeping, without clear historical references requiring explanation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
313 CLEARLY A DOER OF THE WORD. ss THEY say Palmer joined the church to please his wife.” “That's a slander. He told me himself he was trying to mor- tify the flesh.” “But have you seen him doing it?” “Yes, He gets his cocktails at the church saloon.” TWO VIEWS OF A FULL MOON. Reggy (aged five)—" What does the moon look like to you to- night, papa?” ” Papa —" Oh, it looks like a beautiful big gold plate, such as kings and queens use. What does it look like to you?” Reggy —" Just like a big vaccination.” WHERE SHE DREW THE LINE, First newspaper-woman —" Carrie Dareitall has resigned from the Trumpet.” Second newspaper-woman —" Woy? Did the Sunday editor want her to go into some more lions’ dens First newspaper-woman —" No; the city editor ordered her to report a business meeting of the professional-woman’s league.” THREE PROFITS TO ONE LOss. Mr. Scien Coen —"* Shack pot ! Somepotty vas shy !" Mr. Suragr EINKoMMER—"* Dot vas my ship, pecause it vas my last plue “Mn. Nastport KxLtonc —"* Dot vas my ship, pecause don'dt you see dot g Supteit7—"* Dot vas my ship I vas de first von in.” Cuorus (of three)— ‘Teal dose garts !" A GOOD EXAMPLE. ++ ARE these the biggest china eggs you have?” asked the customer, "Yes, sir. They are the usual si “You see, Iam just going into the poultry business, and I would like as large nest-eggs as I can get, in order to give the hens an idea of the size I expect them to attain with their product.” TOO MUCH FOR HER. First club-woman—" It’s rumored that Mrs. Speakmuch is in the first stage of softening of the brain. Some friends of mine met her late Monday afternoon, and they say it was dreadful to see her vacant stare and hear her disconnected utterances,” Second clubvoman—"Ob, she’s all right now. She had been ‘trying to stimulate thought’ in a Sorosis discussion.” A GUARDED STATEMENT. Snooper—" Doesn't Ricketts paint the town red sometimes ?” Kilduff —**\ wouldn't go so far as to say that, but he really has an artistic temperament in a wholesale way.” A DIFFERENCE IN TIME. Foor-rap —"* Please tell me de time, sir? My watch is a little slow,” St PumpKins—"' Ya-as, an’ mine is gol-darned fast, an’ don’t you forgit it, either !" comicbooks.com