Judge — May 12, 1894 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a A PORCINE RELATION Hockitenier —" Dot vasa narrow escape your fader-in-law had in dot run- shust barely safed his life.” evY—"" Yes; und shust barely lost me twendy dousand tollars accident in- surance on his life. My fader-i a hog, und only tinks of himseluf."* A HOPEFUL OUTLOOK. HE costs of drugs and medicines Are having such a fall, Cut-prices will bring sicknesses Within the reach of all. WAITING TO START. Impatient husband —*" Will you ever come away from that looking- glass, Clara?” Wife (pleasantly) —* You forget. Algy, that art is long.” Husband (sharply) —" madam, that time is fleeting.” member, NOT MUCH LIFE THERE. Friend —"\ suppose that you al- ways try to throw as much life in your pictures as you can.” Artist —" Not always. I've painted thirty-two pictures of the Dead sea in my time.” _, BURGLAR Jim —"* Hist! some one approaches. will conceal myself in this closet.” JUDGE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD. +4] T WOULD be much better, my dear,” said the aris- tocratic mother with decision, “if you had less to do with that Miss Billings.” “Why, mamma? Isn't she a nice girl?” “[ know nothing against her personally,” replied the mother, “but it is just as well not to be identified too closely with a shop-keeper’s daughter. We cannot be too careful in such matters, Mamie, if we are to maintain our social position.” “But you don’t object to my associating with Miss Wilbur.” “That is a very different matter.” “Her father keeps the same kind of a store.” “Not at all, Mamie; not at all. Mr. Wilbur has no retail department, while Mr. Billings has. You should think of these things yourself, and not leave it all to me.” A SUFFICIENT REASON, Mr. Dolley— Miss Flypp, why do you suppose it is that there is no marrying nor giving in marriage in heaven?” Miss Flypp (promptly)— No men there.” A SURE SIGN. Carrie —* How dreadfully in love he must be !" What makes you think so?” “Why, just see how he is carrying his cane ! THE BURGLAR'S BLUNDER. PROSPECTOR. What is he? He is a prospector. A prospector? Ie doesn’t look like one. Bat he is though. An English noble- man prospecting for a rich American heiress. WISE WOMAN. HE bric-a-Drac forth from the hall She quickly moved away When her dear husband said he joined “ Another club that day, THE COW-BOY VESTRY. She—"So Dr. his duty to accept a c out in Arizona, did he? He—"Ves, and his congregatior has now i She —" For what? He—" Oh, he prayed for rain and didn’t get it.” A SUITABLE MATCH. ¢ was a widow lady.” Shadi Yes, and she married a widower gentleman.” rdly thought it to that church Bur the closet proved to be a dumb-waiter, as he discovered. comicbooks.com