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Judge, 1894-05-12 · page 11 of 16

Judge — May 12, 1894 — page 11: what you’re looking at

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Judge — May 12, 1894 — page 11: Judge, 1894-05-12

What you’re looking at

This page contains several short satirical pieces typical of Judge's editorial content: **"The College Poet"** mocks impractical academia—a student gifted at flowery verse and philosophical speculation but unable to handle "common matters," ultimately failing to graduate. It satirizes the disconnect between intellectual pretension and practical competence. **The Breckinridge reference** alludes to a contemporary scandal (likely congressman John C. Breckinridge's marital troubles), with the text sarcastically blaming "the woman" while suggesting his age and experience should have prevented such folly. **The Cleveland jab** criticizes President Cleveland's veto of the silver seigniorage bill as arrogant overreach, suggesting his confidence exceeds his judgment. **"Arkansaw Thomas Cat"** offers folk-philosophy mockery of politicians who make noise and spend recklessly. The page is primarily **advertising**, with products like Packer's Tar Soap, camera equipment, and beverages dominating space. The satirical content is brief, topical commentary aimed at educated readers following current political events and scandals.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

{ THE COLLEGE PoET. O studia futitia ! | He could read a subtle meaning f light's silver sheening, And at similes and metaphors was really ‘out of sight. His thought was speculative and his verse al- | literative ; | All he wrote’ was filled with sighs and sobs and voices of the night. in the moon- | Rut with all his intuitions he was burdened } with conditions. When it came to common matters, then his { muse just took a skip ; And though it’s immaterial to a being so‘ethe- real, When the time had come to graduate he couldn't get his **dip.” | Princeton Mrs, Wt Syxur for Chil- dren ‘Veething ; soothes the child, softens the gums, allays ail pain, cures wind colic and diar | thcea, 25 cents a bottle. We are inclined to think that a vote of thanks is duc to Senator Peffer. He hasn't made a speech in several days.—Aochester Post Ex- press. Cook's Imperial. World's Fair highest award, excellent champagne ; good efferves- | cence, agreeable bouquet, delicious flavor.” | “That handsome young lady over there by the piano,” said Banks, ‘is the daughter of a { wealthy bill-poster, but’she doesn’t seem to be } at all stuck up. ( For Cripple Creek Gold Field investmenis write Frank G. Peck, Colorado Springs, Colo- rado. Keference, Exchange National Bank. When Senator Brice a Democrat he replie that [ have red hair. fictory to all inquiters in the future. dyed in the wool.— Brooklyn asked why he was For the same reason He is PACKER’S T, ‘AR comprehends the qualities required, and is the sham- SOAP Fetivciy most physicians in preventive and remedial treatment of Dandruff and Baldness. Invaluable for Skin Diseases. t A4x5 MAGAZINE CAMERA Carrying 12 Plates, FOR $10. Leather Covered. Compact. E.&H. T. ANTHONY & CO., 591 Broadway, ! NEW YORK This should be satis- | pooing agent used and pre- | STERILIZED MILK is the only safeguard against the many diseases insidiously promulgated by ordinary milk. You may rest assured that the contents of every can of Borden's Peerless lirand Evaporated Cream are thoroughly sterilized, Mr. Breckinridge blames it all on the wo- man, after the manner of our sad old forefather Adam, But Adam was a young man, inex- perienced in the world’s ways, while Breckin- ridge, as a patriarch and Kentuckian, should have known better.—New York Commercial Advertiser, _ dict. If you have dyspepsia, indi- habitual constipation or sick headache don't diet. You need the strength that good food gives. Eat whatever you want, but take ‘one of Dr. Deane’s Dyspepsia Pills after meals until cured. with white label ; otherwise with yellow. For sale by druggists generally and by Dr. J. A. | Deane company, Kingston, New York, Grover Cleveland by his veto of the silver seigniorage bill puts a superior estimate upon his own ability and judgment over the judg- ment of the house of representatives or the as- tute judgment of the senate. We wish we had a few drops of such gall. We would wear dia- monds the rest of our days and walk with hob- nail boots on the h Red | Lodge (Montana) N WHEN NAPOLEON srvesnsiessrnsosnesss topped off by a Marie Hirlzard & It ‘Thev age suill on sale, and the quality never cl TW. Stemmler, Union Square, New York. Beecham’s Pills cure sick-headache, If you are constipated get bottle | So many people ah like de fire-cracker—dey can only make a big splurge an’ noise in de wurld at de expense ob bein’ hopelessly busted. —Arkansaw Thomas Cat, Joseph was a good young man, but he would | never have made a, congressman,—Cleveland Plain Dealer, HOTEL TRAYMORE, - Atlant ‘ As a specific against dyspepsia and as an appetizer, also for mixing in drinks, nothing is superior 10 BOKELS LITTERS, renowned since 1828, Scotch customer (to dentist)— five shillin’ for wee bit tooth? Na, na ilka mon ower ta road pulled oot twa’an’ broke me jaw for wan an’ sexpance."— Pearson's Weekly. THE CELEBRATED SOHMER KPianos aro tho Bost. Warerooms: 149-155 E. 4th St., New York. Cactioy.—The buying public will please not eon” found the Souaer Piano with one of a similarly sounding name of cheap grade. Our name spells— C.H. Evans & Sons’ Ales and Stout at the Midwinter Fair, San Francisco. Some of the worst crosses those New York politicians have to bear are those on the regular jail suits. —PAtladelphia Times. | FACE ) The leading brand in all first-class Restaurants and Café: Two Awards World's Fair. Pacifle Coast Agents, Sherwood & Sherwood. Served at all Fountains and Buffets. Sold in bottles by Druggists and Fancy Grocers. invigorates ! Editor of “Baby” reports: "For acne spots on the face, and particul ly for erup- pimples ina few days. It reheves, No mercury of poison in this.) D A HARMLESS CREAM. 50 ets. per box of all druggists, or direct. eczema, it is undoubtedly efficacious, heal Uons arid remo PHOTORET r WATCH CAMERA ‘A POCKET WONDER, Six snap shots of time exposures without reloading. Can be recharge edn open daylight,” With fms for 6 exposures and full instructions y express, $2 50 Magis Introduction Co., 321 B'way, ¥, T, Send stamp for Mustrat Photoret photo free If you t The Columbia Bicycle Frame isa double diamond frame excep- tionally graceful in design, It is light and tough to the ‘highest degree, and is fully guaranteed. Made under our own supervision, in our own factory, of our own finest cold drawn’ seamless. steel tubing, with every joint and part scientifically tested, it is a worthy backbone for a famous wheel. POPE MFG. CO., Boston, New York, | Chicago, Hartford, AIL about Cotambiasin on trated eatsoxse, hlehyen coma free at our agencies, of by mail, two two-cent clamp HAVE IT. sa Fawn’ sold eT UP One POU! STEFAEN F. WHI <saVENTORS AND SOLE MAWES, “I MANS SON, STARCH CROWS STICKY, Common powders have a vulgar glare. Pozzo nis is the ouly Complexion Powder ft for use, GENTLEMEN?! Don't suffer longer with imperfect and unreliable Coutax: Bertone. A postal- Sard will bring you a circular describing Stahe Benedict? pa SSD ers ae te est." in boussot BENEDICT “BROS, 171 Brvadway, N. Y. city. 3s os " It is a very lazy man who will not take the trouble to reverse his cigar when he finds that he has put the lighted end of it by mistake into his mouth.—Paretucket Tribune. BLONDEAU ET CIE, 73°77 Watts St., New York. Samples of Vinolia Cream olla Soap (Or- 10). for sensitive skins, and Vinolia Powder, for Toilet and Nursery, free on receipt of 10 cents. NADIAN 1 Distilled and bottled by LuB HIRAM WAIKER&SONS,, ‘WHISKY LIMITED WALKERVILLE, CANADA. The age and genuineness of titts Whisky a Department of the Canadian@Government by certilicate over the capsule of every bottle. From the moment of manufacture until this certificate is affixed the Whisky never leaves the custody of the Excise Officers, No other Government in the World provides for consumers this independent and absolute guarantee of purity and ripeness. 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