Judge, 1894-05-05 · page 9 of 20
Judge — May 5, 1894 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page features satirical commentary on turn-of-the-century American life through short jokes and cartoon vignettes. **"The Vernal Poet"** mocks romantic poetry by contrasting the poet's flowery spring verses with his mundane reality: he notices spring only because his winter underwear has disappeared from clotheslines. **"In the City of Churches"** satirizes religious formality—a couple cannot kiss until the man is confirmed, suggesting excessive adherence to ecclesiastical protocol over genuine emotion. **"Hiding His Light"** skewers false modesty: Horace claims he knows far more than his boastful acquaintance but never mentions it, implying his silence is actually prideful self-restraint. Scattered throughout are humorous "Judgments"—pithy observations about human nature covering babies, morality, and romance. **"The Only Reason She Could Think Of"** presents a child's logic: when asked why Adam and Eve were expelled, she concludes they didn't pay rent—reducing theological doctrine to landlord-tenant relations. The remaining sketches similarly use working-class characters and children's naive interpretations to satirize contemporary social pretensions and adult hypocrisy.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE VERNAL POE O* PRIMROSES, violets, pansies and such ‘The thoughts of the poet are fed ; In fancy he dwells o' And sings, "Le some garden in bloom ! the winter has fled.” Asa matter of fact, in his fourth story back, He opines that the spring-time is here, Since the flannels and hose he remembers so well On the clothes-lines no longer appear. IN THE CITY OF CHURCHES. He—" Now that we are engaged, Isabel, I suppose I may kiss you?” She—" No, Walter; not until you are confirmed.’ TURNING “As Tsaid before, Willie, when we get a couple of bottles in us we don't give a (hic) cuss for the biggest copper — THE —rmine in Michigan.” HIDING HIS LIGHT. $4 [ NSIPIDUS is the most tiresome creature I ever knew,” quoth Horace irritably. |" He is always boasting of how much he knows, Now, | know a great deal more than he does and I never tell of it JUDGMENTS. I T 1Sa long head that knows no turning. A baby, when it comes, brings its own trunk and grip and lunch-basket. It is quite permis- sible for a man to rob Peter to pay Paul, if your name is Paul. Divide your prop- erty among your rela- tives and then sit down and wait for the fool- killer. Occasionally a young man may be persuaded out of mar-” tying a young woman he loves, but an old one—never. faewboer f MADRLINE ORVIS, THE bOGS AND TIE DUDE. IMPROVING ON NATURE. If Thad de makin’ o' dis world I could improve on How 7" Why, see dis hot, dusty road! Td have two foot 0° + snow here ; and den in winter I'd have nice hot, dusty roads. Dat's how.” THE ONLY REASON SHE COULD THINK OF. MISSION SCHOOL, teacher had been telling her class of little girls the story of Adam and At its close she said, * Now, girls, can any of you tell me the reason why Adam and Eve were put out of the garden of Exlen?” Whereupon one little voice piped out, * Please, m didn’t pay their rent.” ‘cause they WHERE SHE WAS WEAK Mamma —* Vobby, if the boys in the street strike you or throw stones | dont want you to strike or throw back, but to come and tell me, Bobby —* Well, mamma, if they bat me I'll come and tell you, so you can go for ‘em; but it's no use for me to tell you if they throw stones, for you couldn't hit the side of a house.” TRB CHIVALRY. an’ don't fergit — if yer don't swipe ‘im Stconn—" Now do yer best out in tree rounds yer loses de lady. comicbooks.com