Judge — April 21, 1894 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A DAY- DREAM. Guat—" Now therg’s a soft snap. | think — GrnMan (soaking up)—"* Py chim! Trfought I vas in a railroat occident. I moost haf hat a nighthorse.”” NO USE FOR FIRE-LIGHT. Mrs. Percushing—" Henry, 1 smell. fire, 1 tell you!" Mr. Percushing—* Well, 1 can't find any fire, and I've been all over the house. Mrs. Percushing—" Well, light the candle and take another look. How could you find it‘in the dark, you idiot?” JUDGE SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. HASTEN the calamity we dread. The furrow must be plowed before the seed be sown, The link that unites divides and the ocean that separates + joins. The scales of a philosopher are useless out of his own hands. The sun never sets upon the finished work of the re- former. It may not be distinctly to the devil's credit that he is called a gentleman. No one can deny that it is a fair barter—that by which we get pleasure for pain ‘There are people whose respectfulness seems a mere adjunct to their extreme re- spectability. What so often appears to be a vicious perversion is more likely to be a mere neg- ative lack of sentiment—an undeveloped possibility of good. KATHRIN. GROSIRAM. HARD TIMES IN HIGH LIFE. SOTHESE are mighty tough times, now, Upon my word,” Said the large cold bottle To the small hot bird! IN A QUANDARY. BACHELOR UNCLE (who has been left in charge of the L wonder what the devil he wants now?" SPRING AVAUNT! OM: siretat spring. What pangs ye bring! How terrible the shock, When up go windows far and near, And break upon the tortured ear The discord, jangle, worse than roar, The madd’ning clangor of fourscore> Pianos on our block. JUST THE HAT FOR THE THEATRE. Miss Scribble—"\t took just two short stories to pay for this hat.” Ned—H'm! Ought to be just the hat to wear at the theatre—a two-story hat.” SHE MADE A MISTAKE. First BURGLAR—"' What's de matter, Jimmie?" Second BURGLAR—*'1 cracked er house last night, an’ de woman mistook me fer her husband, who'd stayed out longer dan de law allowed.” THE SORROWFUL GAS-MAN. CONUNDRUMS, se THERE itis again !" said the gas-man, throwing down his newspaper as his eyes slowly filled with tears. “Gas companies have no rights that suicides are bound to respect. They go right along turning on the gas and quietly slipping into the next world without leaving a sign of an address for the gas-bill to be sent to.” THE VERDICT. E SANG “Daisy Bell"; then he sud- denly died, And the coroner's jury said, ** Suicide.” Say, Weary, why are we like American in: hard one.” Wan industries?" Weaky Watkt! orter go duck-shooti RY WATKINS—"" Because we're completely paralyzed. 1NG WiLiE—"* Well, den, how are we differunt from American —"* Because we're mighty glad to be paralyzed. Gimme a FEMININE INSTINCT, Maccir—"' Patsy Murphy 's in lov Karie—" Wot makes yer t'ink so Macciz—" He's got on a collar.” You comicbooks.com