Judge, 1894-04-21 · page 4 of 16
Judge — April 21, 1894 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains six unrelated comic sketches typical of Judge's late 19th-century humor: **"Defied"** mocks a woman's hollow protest—she claims outrage at being kissed without permission, then forbids a repeat, implying she actually enjoyed it. **"A Slow Worker"** jokes about a vagrant's laziness: he won't chop wood for pie because by the time he'd finish, the pie would spoil. **"Too Liberal to Care"** satirizes a husband's indifference: a woman warns her suitor his attentions must cease now that she's married, but he suggests moving to New York where husbands "won't mind" such visits. **"Noticed Some Changes"** plays on mistaken identity: an elderly man returns to his childhood home; the innkeeper remarks his "wife" looks thinner and different—revealing she's actually a different woman entirely. **"At Niagara"** contains a mild joke about wasted natural resources and occupational assumptions. **"Not What He Meant to Say"** uses a professor's accidental insult about conceited students unknowingly reflecting on his own teaching. The page emphasizes infidelity, marital discord, and class-based humor common to the era.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DEFIED. #6 YOU cannot kiss me, sir,” she said. Quoth he, with manly grace, * [think I'can"; and then with ease His lips quick touched her face. * You dreadful thing !" she sputtered out. ** My rage I can't contain ; But I'll just tell you this, so there ! You can't do so again.” A SLOW WORKER. Housewife— You can have this pie if you saw the pile of wood.” Wandering Willie—1 cain't entertain de prop’sition, mum. By de time I'd dat pile sawed de pie would be mouldy.” TOO LIBERAL TO CARE. Mrs. Watterbury (a New England bride)—“ No, Lionel. So long as I was single you were welcome as often as you chose to call; but now that I am a mar- ried woman your attentions must cease.” Lionel—" But you have influence with your husband, Constance.” Mrs. Watterbury—" | don’t see what that has to do with it.” Lionel—* Get him to live in New York. They won't mind it there.” NOTICED SOME CHANGES. THE old gentleman had returned to the home of his boyhood for the first time in ten years or more and, as on the last occasion, he had written “and wife” after his name on the hotel-register. Of course the keeper of the little tavern was 5 AT NIAGARA. glad to see him and grasped him warmly by the hand, First STRANGER—"Ah, sir, it seems a shame to see all this “Ain't grown a day older than when you was here last,” he said. going to waste. - ne, SECOND STRANGER—"* Jesso, jesso ! HIS MISTAKE. “No?” said the old gentleman half First stRANGER—"‘Are you a mechanical engineer, sir?” inquiringly. SECOND STRANGER—"' No, sir; I'ma milkman.” “Not a day,” returned the tavern- keeper emphatically. “ Your wife seems to have changed more 'n you.” “Yes?” “Oh, yes; leastways’she does to me. Looks thinner than when you was here last.” “ Indeed?” “Yes. She ain't near so fleshy as she was accordin’ to my recollection, Seems like she’s taller too, an’ her hair don’t look just the same to me, an’'—an’ "—— “And,” put in the old gentleman softly, “she’s not the same wife, you know.” NOT WHAT HE MEANT TO SAY. Mrs. Cobwigger—" You must meet with many con- ceited pupils—those who think they know it all.” : Professor Strum— That is to be expected, madam. 1. Jaxe—""The missus is in bed, 1 But I can tell you that after they get through with my guess I'll wear her dress and hat this course of lessons they don’t know so much.” evening.” Jones —** Great Scott! if there isn't my wife with another fellow.— + ——How dare you, sir?” “ Whadjer soy?” comichooks:cqm