Judge, 1894-04-14 · page 6 of 16
Judge — April 14, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical sketches typical of Judge's humor: **"A Large Contract"** mocks Chicago's cultural pretensions—a woman sends decorative fish plates she painted herself, but they're adorned with crude "angle-worms," suggesting Chicago's artistic efforts are amateurish and tasteless. **"Wanted Willie's Respect"** references William Jennings Bryan (the three-time presidential candidate); a father won't divide an apple with his daughter because he fears Bryan might think the household poor—satirizing the anxiety Bryan's populist politics created among the middle class. **"Why They Laugh"** jokes that a stale joke becomes acceptable if the teller buys drinks—commentary on social lubricants and masculine bonding. **"Tampering with the Jury"** plays on Prohibition-era morality: a jury foreman claims only one juror couldn't be bribed because he'd "signed the pledge" (temperance vow)—dark satire about corruption and the contradiction between temperance rhetoric and actual behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE DE GUSTI- BUS NON. eeTHE fair T did much for the art of Chicago.” “Yes; a girl out there sent me a set of fish- plates for Christ- mas that she A LARGE CONTRACT. hand-painted herself.” “They were appropriately decorated, were they?” “Well, she had painted angle-worms in the bottoms of them.” SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT. Dr. Paresis (after examining Mr. Gargoyle’s condition)—“* What you need, my dear sir, is more exercise.” Mr. Gargoyle—" Doctor, have you forgotten that I am the father of twins?” WANTED WILLIE’S RESPECT. Father— Bobby, | thought I told you to divide that apple with your little sister.”” Bobby —* Well, 1 wasn't going to have Willie Bryan think we had WHY THEY LAUGH. only one apple in the house.” The joke is a chestnut, but then the man telling it is setting up the drinks, A REVISED CALCULATION. ++} {OW Long will it take you to decorate the room?” asked the sweet young thing after talking over the details with the artist. “About three week: “ But | intend to help you with the gilding myself.” “Let me see. I fear I made a miscalculation, It will take me five weeks, I'm afraid, at the least.” THE SONNET OF SPRING IN ANY CURRENT MAGAZINE. PEEP in my soul there subtly wakes and stirs With waking thrill of life in bud and leaf, With chirp of bird and rushing wing that whirs From bough to trembling bough in journeys brief, A restless, eager quest, that hurrying goes Seeking amid the chambers of dim thought Something that must be viewed, pursued and caught And made a glorious capt Is all the inspiration of the spring, And mute the impassioned song I fain would sing. But when, as now, I nearer come, close, close At last to the dear goal I would attain, Ab, with what clutching joy I pounce upon it, ‘The longed-for fourteenth line that makes my sonnet ! MADELINE 8, OxIDGES. TAMPERING WITH THE JURY. FTER the verdict had been rendered a man was brought before the court accused else in vain cteheohy A COUNTRY SEAT. Peg domi nik es Sarri—" That's the tenth of tampering with the jury. ; Santth, tor beaven 9 sane today. Great scheme. I'll put The foreman put ina plea for him, saying, “ Let me assure the court that there that pipe; it’s rank. Take this age it in here with the others.” was no harm done, although we all consented to be tampered with except one.” “Only one honest man on the jury!” exclaimed the judge. “ Your honor,” replied the foreman, “he had signed the pledge.” HIS CLAIM ON THE PARTY. S6WHY did the prohibition- Ww ists norainate Smythe?” “On account of his services to the party.” “ Stump-speaker ?” “No; rain-maker, A CASE IN POINT. Trotter—* Do, you believe that pleasant environments are necessary to achieve success in art?” Barlow—" By no means. 1 I<IN THE THEATRE: know an artist who has always Voice (from Jehind)—"* Would the ladies kindly change _ lived in Chicago who does some 2-IN THE THEATRE. seats ?— really good work.” ——Thank you!" comicbooks.com