Judge, 1894-04-07 · page 10 of 16
Judge — April 7, 1894 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief comedic sketches typical of Judge's satirical humor: **"A Good Roader"**: A horse dealer admits the horse's impressive racing time was achieved while traveling by cattle-train from Canada—implying the horse didn't actually run that fast under normal conditions. The satire targets deceptive salesmanship. **"Backgrounds"**: A sentimental poem contrasts a man's romantic memory of a woman painting with artistic delicacy to his present reality: she now paints backgrounds onto her son's pants. The joke mocks the gap between youthful idealization and domestic married life. **"Mrs. O'Hara's Views on Charity"**: An Irish immigrant woman (indicated by dialect) criticizes charitable organizations and fancy clothing drives, arguing true charity should begin at home—a critique of performative charity among the wealthy while poor communities struggle. **Other sketches** mock apartment rental pricing, a failed poverty-abolition movement, and immigrant experiences. The page reflects Judge's typical blend of class commentary, domestic humor, and ethnic caricature common to early 20th-century American satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A GOOD ROADER. PurcHaser—"' See here! you said this nag went a mile, last month, in two-twenty-five, but I can’t get a four-minute clip out of him.” DeaLen —“* Well, sir, to be candid with you, he made that time coming through from Canada on a cattle-train,” BACKGROUNDS. GHE sat before an easel with her head tipped lightly, so, A paint-brash in her fingers, idly trailing to and fro. I stood quite close beside her with a wildly be And praised with reckless ardor her proficiency ing heart How sweet she was, and dainty! How I loved her! I declare, It seemed to me no other girl could be one half so fair, ‘As she sat there, leaning forward in the gracefullest of poses, And deftly put the background in a plaque of yellow roses. . * . * . . Ah, that was many years ago; dear girl, I love her still. T love her smiles and dimples, and admire the wondrous skill Of her dainty, snowy fingers—I've been watching them to-night Move to and fro above the work she's holding to the light, And, thinking of that other day, I doze a bit, perchance, As she deftly puts a background into Jimmie’s other ‘* pants.”” RLS A REASONABLE REDUCTION. Apartment-hunter—" | can’t understand why you charge so much less for this flat than the one below. The second story usually brings a higher price than the first.” Agent —" There's a prima-donna on the third floor.”* ALMOST—BUT LOST. MRS. O’HARA’S VIEWS ON CHARITY. $4 QEM not sayin’ anythin’ agin’ the fray clothin’ fonds mesilf; although Oi've no use*fur tay-gowns n’ more has O'Hara fur rigimintals; an Oi do be afther harin’ thot Maguire's Mary Ann is takin’ airs to hersilf, an brakin’ wid Grady’s Tarance because av a polky-dot Mother Hubbard she have got, thot all she nades do is sew it the half-way oop the middle t' make a clown av hersilf entoirely. “No more hev Oi anythin’ t’ say agin’ the fray excursions t’ For Rockabye fur the childhren lasht summer ; where ye'd as mooch oven-cake as ye cud ate an’ as many plates av shtew as ye'd loike, an’ the privilege av carryin’ a dhrop av liquor along, av the docther didn’t foind it out an’ throw it inter the say. “But whot Oi'm sayin’ is, thot ‘ chority begins at home wid us in’ Oireland,’ an’ thot's where thim av us as has no polatical inflooence hod betther shtop; where we've fo ex: trames av weadther; an’ where if we've niver a mouthful t” ate in the house we've a sup av whisky t’ go wid it MADELINE OnvIS, A LOST CAUSE. SEVERAL years ago there was a movement to abolish poverty. It made some noise for a time, but recently poverty seems to have got the upper hand and abolished the movement. A STAYER, Mrs. Green —' Well, have you got through ?” Lancuip Larry—'*If you mean have I finished de plate, mum, I have; but whether I'm through or not is fer you to say, kind lady." Conkn—"'T vants you to magke dot salvation army move on. Dey vos spoiling my peesnees !" Orricer fow’s that, Cohen?” Comex —"* Shoosd as I vos glosing ub a pargain sale of a suid mit a country minister dey sdruck ub ‘Almost Persuaded’ und I losd der sale.” instead it for a framed Mrs dren ‘f gums, ; rheea, “Ye claimec I was z tinued, that Ij over so Nervot oriental stafl a Do no Deer L hosses intellig, —Red comicbooks.com