Judge — January 20, 1894 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE WHAT IS FAME? A CLERGYMAN named Jubb is largely known as Lizzie Borden’s pastor. Thus fame comes from misfortune, whatever one may think of the prop- osition of figs from thistles; and we may hope that the gentleman will make a good Jubb of it. TRANSPOSITION OF IDEAS. THIS patient,” said the lunatic-asylum keeper, is a queer case, He has a notion that he must never be idle a moment, even during his lucid intervals, which last for several days every month. He is incessantly em- ployed.” “What does he do in his crazy moments ?” “Works up rebuses, Chinese puz~ ales,” etc. ‘And how does he occupy his lucid intervals ?* * Writing tariff articles for a news- paper syndicate.” CORDIAL. He—“ What about those new THE SLIPPERY HILL—A TALE OF JANUARY. WESTERN MUNICIPAL REFORM. 46] SEE the mayor of a western mining-town recommended the city council to abolish short skirts in the dance-halls.” “That shows how our civilization is extending. I hope they passed the ordinance ?” “Yes, they did ; but an amendment providing for long skirts was lost.” neighbors you called on to-day ?” She—" Well, they said they had come to this village to avoid society and begged me to call often.” TO MAKE HIMSELF USEFUL. Dime-museum employé—" Somebody has put lead-pencil marks all over the walls in the freak-department.” Manager— Well, you tell the India-rubber man to erase them.” LOOKING OUT FOR NUMBER ONE. Guest—" Isn't it a violation of personal rights to require your waiters to keep their whiskers and mustaches shaved ?” Hotel-proprietor — Business is business. The hotel-barber hasn't paid his rent in three months." WHICH? A MAN recently appeared in New York with his heart on the wrong side, his head tre- panned with six ounces of silver, and his knee turned backward. The query naturally arises to which foot-ball team did he be- long? DISCOVERY. Jenkins (ceading)—"At last they have found something’ that will make a woman keep a se- cret., His wife—* What is it?” Jenkins—" Chloroform.” SIGNS OF GREAT- NESS, ¢s}TARVEY the antst_ must be getting on famously.” “What makes you think so?” * Well, I see he has pictures in two of this year's saloons.” THE DIFFERENCE IN THE MORNING. ow THE STAGE. Lionel. (Aesitatingly)—"* 1 say, Aubrey, old man, IN THE STREET. qe girls folahencugochee! oblige me with a few hundred dollars for a few days. Aunrey—" See here, Geohegan! you must think I'ma mark, tried burglary for fun, and My gbarsenent wil eit Lime. ay dearer. Lilt the thied time. this week you've given me the touch fora in consequence one of them was Ausery (:vith readiness) —"* Certainly, my dear fel- half, and it don't go no more. See? You come up with a jolly low! A thousand if y6a wish. For, as know your and try to give'me the Gger'oa the glad hand, Youre tas, Peaten nearly to death. - Have we noble nature, 1 know the need is sore when you ask it and it don't go.” not often said that girls would even from your best friend, Aubrey Montravers.”” never make good burglars? comicbooks.com