Judge, 1894-01-13 · page 7 of 16
Judge — January 13, 1894 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from **Judge** magazine (likely early 1900s) contains multiple brief satirical sketches: **"Mr. Goldgrabber Et Al."** features a Yiddish-accented immigrant shopkeeper complaining about con artists—specifically a "collar scam" where someone tries to skip without paying. The satire targets both petty criminals preying on merchants and the shopkeeper's exasperation with urban crime. **"Hard Reading"** jokes about Biblical literacy—a daughter reads the Bible but only remembers "begets" (genealogies), mocking both religious instruction and children's comprehension. **"A Husband's Rebuke"** satirizes women's fashion excess: a wife calls her husband "dressed to kill," and he warns her not to use such violent language—gentle mockery of fashion obsession. **"The Fault of the Fashion"** and other sketches are brief comedic vignettes about social manners, class pretension (a newsboy's dignity), and romantic confusion. The overall tone is gentle satire aimed at urban immigrant communities, fashionable society, and everyday social absurdities typical of Judge's humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MR. GOLDGRABBER ET AL. ¢¢TWENDY-FOUR years righd in dis building und gedding stug righd along!” said Mr. Goldgrabber to the friendly cop the other morning as he gazed critically at a pair of dollar pants in his store-window. “A feller gomes into der shtore yesterday midoud a collar und say he vant a collar, und so I show him a collar, und he puds id on und den he say, *Vould you taig’a feller’s lasd cend fur a collar?’ Obf course I vas onto dot old game, so I say, ‘No, sir; I vould nod. No, sir,’ 1 say;'und den he say, ‘Dank you, Mr. Goldgrabber. You vas a generous man und vill ged your revard in heaven’; und he .skibbed oud. I nefer. knew dot game had a shtring ad each end before. But vhat can you do? Vhat can you do mid lod obf loafers dot do noddings bud dink ohf new bungo-games all der dime? Ach! if I don’d haf a fire here preddy JUDGE quig I dink I vill busd up. Dot's all righd; you can laff. You are nod a tags-bayer.” And Mr. Goldgrabber went inside and bit ~ the end off a tooth-pick. HARD READING. ( Molly—"1 read a chapter / in the bible this morning, papa.” Mr. Surplice (much pleas- Did you, my dear? Tha What was it all about ?” Molly (slowly) —" Well, it = was mostly all begets.” A HUSBAND'S REBUKE, ++} JOW do I look?" said Dr. Kallowmeil to his young wife as he exhibited his new suit. “Dressed to kill!” she ex- claimed enthusiastically. “ My dear,” replied her hus- band gently,“ you shouldn’t talk ed). nice, WS ~ A CAUSTIC REPROOF. GentLEMAN—"* Hey, boy! give me a paper.” IRONY. Tue GoAt—'* You'll make some more funny drawings of me, won't you? A\ I know. THE FAULT OF THE FASHION, Oh, don't say no! you'll take them to the comic papers down town, I'm sure you will.” Boy (swith great dignity)—* If yer want a newsboy yer will find one above. I have purchased this paper fer me family.” WHAT’S LOVE? S6\AJIIAT'S love? Pray tell me, little maid !” “I'm much too young to know,” she said. Tasked'the bride, while ‘neath its spell, She said ‘twas joy no tongue could tell. After ten years—she did not know ; Forgot—it was so long ago, So no fair answer did I get. What's love? I'm undecided yet. GCKONGR BIRDSRYR. NATURE’S ALARM-CLOCK. , Strawber—What have you in that envelope that you are handling so care- fully?” Singerly—"A live fly. I've got to catch an early train in the morning.” Mr. Downrows—"' Permit me, madam, to offer you my seat.” Passexcer—“Aw, thanks, awfully.” comicbooks.com |