Judge — January 6, 1894 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNFTRD STATES AND CANADA IM ADVANCE ‘One copy, one year, or sa numbers = $5.00 ‘One copy, six months. or 26 numbers One copy: forty weeks es st including the Comistias Juno. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all fo~ ign countries im the postal union, 354 year. THe JuDor PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce Bumpina) Cor, Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York. Judge’s Comic Almanac for 1894. WIFTY PAGES OF ILLUSTRATIONS, INCLUDING TWO IN COLORS. PRICE, 25 CENTS. $87 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy: ight in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. MERCY TO LAW-BREAKERS is cruelty to the innocent. MAY MEN love Mr. Van Alen for the declination he made. RICHARD OLNEY has this motto—“ Public office and my private trust.” WOMEN are naturally given to self-denial. Who ever heard of a Jennie-the-hugger? * o THE TIMIDITY of congress in making a tariff suggests the necessity of excessive pro- tection of that body. eee THE GOULDS say feelingly that there is the very old Nicolaus to pay, young as the woman seems to be. oarr G3 THE JINGO is a popular man until it is time for practical business, That requires some- thing more than mere noise. MS shisive EXPERT says the ten- dency as to foot-ball favors amore open game, The same idea prevails among experts in several other games. THE DELAY in the case of Mr. Hornblower causes that gentleman to be known also as little boy blue. THE WOMEN of Colorado will vote hereafter, and are already urging that there be scallops on every ticket. EVISED VERSION—There’s a barrel of dynamite in Tammany hall, and the bolters are kicking it all day long. POWDERLY must not lecture. There has been too much of that. Let him become a bigamist and elevate the stage, the advertisement. ET US SUGGEST to the Hon, Bourke Cockran that the next time he wants to take a horseback ride he put on his spurs and go afoot. EDITOR STEAD acting as a missionary ir Chicago suggests that our boards of missions ought to turn their efforts to the heathen at home too. see OHN Y. MCKANE—When he's been there his thirty days, the same from sun to sun, he'll have no less days to mend his ways than when he first begun. A WRITER for the Boston Transcript says the eyes of Mr. Howells indicate something vague and infinite as the tranquil sea. That may mean strabismus, but it looks more like cataract; like anything, in fact, but tranquil observation. TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR, PERHAPS. Woop B. Byer—"' Is this the horse you advertised?” Liver E, STaBLEs—"* Sure.” Woop B. byeR—" There must have been some mistake made in the printing of It said the horse was five years old and worth a hundred dollars. Didn't you mean a hundred years old and worth five dollars?” THE NOTABLE EXCEPTIONS. Att DECENT PEOPLE know, according to the president, that the Van Alen nomination was proper and good. The inference is that the mugwump editors are not persons of that kind, though we prefer to credit them with merely a little matter of foolishness. WHY SPLIT HAIRS? WE BEG to congratulate J. Scott Harrison on his appointment; and at the same time doesn't the rule as to nepotism apply to the fami- lies of ex-presidents as well as to those of presidents? Same cause, same effect. The office-seeker is as guilty in the one case as in the other. THE SPIRIT OF THIS PERIOD. AN EXCHANGE says the foreign-born persons who have charge of the government of Hawaii have the American spirit of ‘76 in their hearts. Evidently the natives of the ex-government haven't, though one would naturally look for it in them by way of self-defense. Because the situation in Hawaii is exactly opposite that which existed in this country in the memorable year so unhappily alluded to. KILL HIM. ‘THE SUGGESTION of a contemporary that the bomb-thrower is a coward, and is never so bold as when under arrest and entitled to the protection of the law, fits the rascal’s case exactly. He is a conspirator and a sneak and deserves no mercy. He has warred against civilization long enough. It is time that civilization turned upon and gave him the swift and merciless punishment he has inflicted on decency and human rights. ‘ THE RIGHT TO DIE. WHat IF THE MUR- DERESS Mrs. Halliday were to really kill herself? Would anybody suffer for it? Wouldn't she and the county of Sullivan be better off? Is there anything more brutal than to coax back to life a condemned man who has nearly succeeded in killing himself, for the mere purpose of choking or shocking him to death? There may be such a thing as too much refine- ment in our methods of capital punishment. LONG BUT NOT MERRY. WOMAN one hundred years old says she attributes her great ge to the fact that she never drank tea or coffee “and above ail never got married.” Here follows the old question, “Is life worth living?" and it is easy to reach the conclusion that there can be too much of it. What are holidays and family gatherings to that old lady? Merely reminders of opportunities lost and loneliness more pronounced as the years have come and gone. And there are so many better things than very old age. THE MUGWUMP SECRETARY. MR CLEVELAND has one stanch friend, no matter how little enthu- siasm the Democrats of congress exhibit in their support of him. This friend is Mr. Gresham, and he needs friends more than his superior does. Indeed, the president may be excused if he prays to be delivered from this friend, who, save as to his prejudices, is without backbone, and is also without the knowledge and discretion that ought to belong to his high office. The president, it is suspected, has a party at his back. The secretary has nothing and nobody but the president. THE LATE MR. SOLOMON. +s\WVE OFTEN WONDER,” says the Atchison Globe, “if Solomon won all his wives with true love.” Doubtless they thought he did, and that answered every purpose. His affection was, however, of the collective or numerical order; there are so many excellent women that a wise man like the distinguished gentleman in question really couldn't afford to confine himself to a fraction of the sex. Then again, we believe he never got a divorce; and still again, having a defective memory as to faces, he sometimes met a wife and treated her with the courtesy due an entire stranger. We do think he was frightfully extravagant, but he got his punishment for that with so large a family on his hands during the olidays. comicbooks.com