Judge, 1893-12-30 · page 4 of 17
Judge — December 30, 1893 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical sketches typical of Judge's format: **"Engagement Off"**: A woman consults a fortune teller who predicts a grim future with a dissolute husband—heavy drinking, abuse, ten children, and early death from washing-induced consumption. The fiancé calls it fake, but the fortune's specificity creates dark comedy about matrimonial risks. **"In One of the Years Gone By"**: A sentimental poem (by Edith Livingston Crary) about a cherished memory of a maiden by the sea, now aged and married. It's nostalgic verse, not satire. **"An Unsolved Mystery"**: Irish domestic humor about a maid's mysteriously short pants despite adding cloth. **"Insult to Injury"**: A debtor receives a bill with holiday wishes—compounding financial distress with forced pleasantries. **"The Old Maid"**: Dark humor about unmarried women hanging baskets outside on New Year's (unclear significance; possibly a superstition or desperation signal). **Minor jokes**: Brief exchanges mocking penny-pinching wealthy men and steamship passengers. The page emphasizes marital anxieties, class commentary, and domestic humor typical of late-Victorian American satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ENGAGEMENT OFF. Maun —" George, dear, I'm going to get my fortune told.” 5 —" Don't do it, Maud, dearest! It’s all a fake.’ pecunious young man with blonde hair, blue eyes and small mustache, who will chances pretty well, me fine feller. drink and abuse you constantly. You will have ten small children, and die of quick consumption, brought on by taking in washing, at the age of t “-x IN ONE OF THE YEARS GONE BY. AS | posh aside the year mists that stretch so far away I can see a little picture framed in a summer's day ‘That hangs in memory's gallery as the brightest, dearest view My fancy ever painted, or my history ever knew. ‘A golden landscape picture with a green hill, and the sea Stretched out as far as eye could reach, like Vast eternity ; A sunset glow upon the sky where clouds all tinted lay, ‘As good-bye words the sun had left for twilight lips to say. And a little maiden standing in dreamy reverie, A soft, glad light upon her face, which looked far out to sea ; While wind which tossed the sparkling waves played with her shining hair, As if it half expected to find some sunbeams there. I look upon this picture and my heart is throbbing fast, The freshness of its beauty was in the happy past ; But though time has dimmed its color it is still as dear to me, For its presence lights life's gallery as a gift of memory, The little maiden’s golden hair has turned to twilight gi Her girlish dreams have wakened as she passed along life's way; Yet hand in hand together, youth's hope fulfilled we see As ‘neath time's fading shadows shines love's eternity. HDITH LIVINGSTON CRARY. AN UNSOLVED MYSTERY. s, Bridget, they be as short as ivir !" I take thim'! afther me puttin’ tin inches av cloth at ther top.” INSULT TO INJURY. Thistlewood—" Did he say anything to you when he handed you the bill?” Impecune— Yes; wished me a happy new year.” THE OLD MAID. GE now admits, with many pangs, e's dead as in a casket ; ‘That's why on New-year's day she hangs Outside her door a basket. UNLIKE HIM, Cora—""1 was so surprised when Mr. de Jinks called to pay the compliments of the season.”” Merritt—*No wonder. GONE FROM HUE . ' FIRsT STEAMSHIP PASSE —** Do you know what they had for break. That’s the only thing T ever fast this morning ?™ ON Ws METAL, knew him to pay. SECOND STEAMSHIP PASSENGER—" No, I gave it up long ago.” comicbooks.com