Judge — December 30, 1893 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘. Bexnnarp Gittas, . M. Gaacony, Editor. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNETED STATES AND CANADA I] ADVANCE, One copy, ove year, or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months. or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy, for 13 weeks = = nay Including the Cwxrstuas Junce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—Toall for- ign countries im the postal union, 36a year, THe Juve PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupGe Burtotnc). Cor, Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York. Judge’s Comic Almanac for 1894. GES OF ILLUSTRATIONS, INCLUDING TWO IN COLORS. PRICE, 25 CENTS. FIFTY P. $27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Junce are protected by copy- eight in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. BE HAPPY. If you're not happy you're out of the swim. MB: CROKER will retire. He is now looking for his Cheshire cheese. T° SENATOR HILL—Dear sir, a house divided against itself gathers no moss, THE COMPLIMENTS of the Season to Mr. Logenbula. May he dress up and be happy. THE EDITOR of the Brooklyn Eagle talks of “the court of conscience,” Conscience — what's that? T IS NOT SHEOL that is paved with, good intentions—it is the other place, Good intentions never hurt anybody yet. THE NEW DRINK, “the touch- down,” is so called to distin- guish it from the more forcible liquid called the knock-down. RS. DEACON will, it is an- nounced, marry a French no- So? bleman. Men of that kind come cheap. The late M. Abeille was one of them, we believe. 5 THE HOLIDAYS are mighty good to the Democratic friends of Grover. Let them but hold up their stockings and the blessings drop right into them, URING THE NEW YEAR let Grover confer occasionally with the other branches of the government. They may not be as autocratic as he, but they must not be forgotten. ANACTRESS will go into the new year with a new nose, or rather with the old one surgically reduced in size. The mysteries of the make-up grow more complicated every year. THE DANCE DU VENTRE may be a sacred thing in the eyes of the women who do it, but if a man looks upon horse-stealing as a religion that is no reason why we shouldn't lock the stable-door. ore MISS ANTHONY has lived long enough to find everybody praising her. It is peculiarly pleasant to us to reflect, in view of this grati- fying fact, that we have never said a word of her which, dying, we would wish to blot. FEEL it safe to say that our lieutenant-governor will be better in ‘ninety-four than he ever was before. Referring to Buffalo, he can say, with the boy who was about to be thrashed by his pa,“ St-stop! My ma has ‘tended to me.” A, PLAY FOR SAFETY. Papa doesn't. get:hiome now-much before ten o'clock.” Well, Ull'come-early then and—and avoid the rush.” HINT. HE YOUNG MAN who has called too frequently on New-year’s day can talk fluidly, but he splits his words and mangles his ideas. Let him reflect that his listeners feel like saying, with the Irish magistrate, “All we want of you is silence, and very little o' that.” There is a kind of silence that is precious, and it all belongs to him, AFFRIGHTED. THEY HAD CAUGHT a man with a sheep that had been killed and stolen. “Did you kill him?” was the question. “Yes,” said the man, “and I'll kill any sheep that tries to bite me.” ‘This suggests how badly Boss McKane was frightened when confronted by the officers of the law whom he presently clubbed and locked up. We suppose he was so scared that he turned blue and shed every tooth in his head, HIS WORDS AND HIS AXE. THE PRAISE by the president of civil-service reform must not be taken too seriously. While he talks the heads continue to go into the basket; and in all instances men are selected for the vacancies who are most in sympathy with his personal comfort and his political convictions. That's the kind of a civil-service reformer he is, and he is to be com- mended for taking care of at least a part of the party which has taken such good care of him. THREE KINGS, THE KAISER and Francis Jo- seph ought to see the neces- sity of helping Humbert out of his financial troubles and contributing to the support of his military estab- lishment. It is the triple alliance that has brought about this Italian extravagance; and again if the war principle of government is correct it is as legitimate for Italy as it is for Germany and Austria. Open the holiday exchequer, William, and support the nation that you expect in case of war to support you. IN BEHALF OF GOOD LOOKS. T IS DECREED by the school authorities of Camden, New Jer- sey, that girls, shall not wear curl- papers in school: This starts the girls right in an important particu- lar, and it is even possible that they will grow up to be such good wives that they will sometimes appear be- fore their husbands without curl- papers. For itis really not right that women should begin to grow homely as soon as they are married; and curl-papers ought to be as much out of place at home.as would be a carving-knife on the hat-rack. COWARDLY BARBARITY. 4 THAT CHRISTIANITY which tums scores of unfortunate. women into the streets of a December night, to starve or freeze, is not the genuine article. It reforms nobody, and is out of place in this holiday season. If we grant that-these women have no rights which the law is bound to respect there is.yet an involuntary protest against such inhuman- ity; and the fact is-indisputable that if women had the right to vote they would be protected from such barbarity as bad men are. Let us not be so infernally religious that the unprotected woman must be deprived of her life, HAPPY NEW YEAR! THERE WERE SOME good things about ‘ninety-three. It didn’t bring in:hoops, as threatened. It was free from serious epidemic. It had an extra session of congress, but the session did. very fair work and most of us have survived it. It was crowded with disasters and several revolutions, but New York escaped. We were not bothered with the world’s fair, and Chicago got great glory out of it. The screams of the populists and the silver men died out before the year closed, and were presently followed by great Republican victories which were a sweet sur- prise. Not all of us were happy, but most of us were tolerably good. A few students have survived foot-ball, and the panic ended before the great pablic had starved to death. It was not so bad. May the new year be- have itself and treat us better. comicbooks.com