Judge, 1893-12-16 · page 5 of 16
Judge — December 16, 1893 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"He Neglected McKinley"**: A joke about a young Ohio boy who attended a political rally for President McKinley during the recent campaign, then went to church for the first time. He complains the minister talked about God constantly but never mentioned McKinley—mocking the intense political fervor of the era and the cult of personality around the presidential candidate. **"Polly Want a Cartridge?"**: A pun exploiting the similar-sounding names "parrot" and "Parrott gun" (a type of cannon). The husband suggests buying a gun to solve the problem of an obscene parrot. **"The Poet of the Future"**: Satire on avant-garde poets who invent words and define them in footnotes rather than use established vocabulary. The remaining items ("In the Toils," "Had Suffered Enough," "Vanity," "The Altered Sign") are brief comic vignettes with visual gags. The page demonstrates Judge's mix of political commentary and wordplay-based humor aimed at educated readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE HE NEGLECTED MCKINLEY. A LITTLE boy who lives in Ohio went to church for the first time last Sunday. During the late cam- paign he heard a great deal about McKinley and was taken by his grand- father to one of the political meetings. Returning from church his mother VING HIM POINTS,” asked him if he liked going to church, “Oh, yes, pretty well,” was the reply; “but I was some dis'pointed ‘cause the minister talked about God all the time and never said a word for McKinley.” POLLY WANT A CARTRIDGE? Wife — John, you certainly will have to do something with that parrot. He swears so that I cannot have him about the house.” Husband (ii desperation) —“ Well, | suppose the only thing to do is to bring home a Parrott gun.” IN THE TOILS, Duncaster (calling on Miss Catnip, who loves pets)—''1 d-don't know what to do. If I drop the mastiff he’s sure to bite me, and [ cavwn't drop the parrots,” THE POET OF THE FUTURE. . SVAN FOHN chafes at the limitations of poetical expression.” “T know he does; but he has inaugurated an epoch-making change in literature.” “ What is it?” “When he is hard up for a rhyme he coins a word and gives its mean- ing in a foot-note.”” HAD SUFFERED ENOUGH. St. Petér —' What were you in life, and where do you come from?” Shade —"1 was the leader of Chicago so- VANITY. ciety.” DIstRICT-ATTORNEY (summing up)—'* The smartness (ingenuity, I might say), the St. Peter —"Help intelligence, which was shown in this burglary "— all wae Tier (interrupting, to reporters)—" Say, you fellers, that sentence will be put Yourself to the best harp into the papers, won't it?’ in the place. Next!" | Carsup ror Sale~| THE ALTERED SIGN. “Dot's a pooty goot sign. I sell me more as “Well, I guess I've played even with Dutchy “Dunder und blitzen! but I gif me fife tollar plendy of dot catsup now.” this time.” if I ketch dot feller.” comicbooks.com