Judge, 1893-12-02 · page 10 of 16
Judge — December 2, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top cartoon ("Their Looks Would Have Defeated Him"):** A Democratic political operative attempts to bribe a prominent candidate to postpone a campaign parade until after dark—offering $200 instead of the promised $20. The joke suggests the candidate fears the parade's poor attendance or shabby appearance would embarrass him if held in daylight, making darkness preferable for political theater. **"A Lesson in Journalism":** This satirizes sensationalist newspaper reporting practices of the era. The text instructs aspiring reporters to fabricate details using vague phrases ("It is said that," "Rumor has it") when lacking facts—transforming three lines of actual information into full columns. It mocks how journalists padding stories with speculation and hedging language could avoid accountability, since they technically only reported what was "said." The remaining items are humorous anecdotes and a Thanksgiving poem—not political content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
~\ THEIR LOOKS WOULD HAVE DEFEATED HIM. Democatic HEeLER —" De byes do be alther givin’ a big perade thish afthernoon, to rattify de Dimmecrathic candijates, and we hov yez down fur twinty . darlers fur ixpinsis.” PROMINENT CANDIDATE —"* This afternoon, eh? Is there a moon to-night?” DeMock atic HEELER —"* No, sor.” PROMINENT CANDIDATE —" Boys, if you'll hold that parade back till after dark I'll give you two hundred dollars.” A LESSON IN JOURNALISM. and if it all turns out wrong you can excuse yourself on the ground that you were only writing what was said. Then proceed with “t It is reported that “— and add a column about the manner of the murder. Next, you can safely indulge in a half-column story about the murderer, if you begin with “ Rumor has it that". The remaining column you can fill out easily with the aid of “It is thought {eis said thar— Te is thought thar— that "—, "No one doubts that "—, and * The general opinion is that” —. Hidiieatr rom pleshaupetse yim Of course, if any facts come in your way you may use them, but they When you know how to use these expressions effectively you will have 6 Not essential to your story. Indeed they often disarrange a well learned the X, Y, Z of journalism. You will be able to transform a para- Planned report. WL morpow: graph into a column, and give free vent to your imagination without run- i ning any risk of being’ called down. UNCLE 'LIJAH. For example: A dead body is found In a vacant lot, You are as- FY E'S feeling blue, beyond signed to write it up. You are unable to get any facts except the finding a doubt, of the body in the lot, If you have acquired the skill 1 mentioned you __There’s sorrow in his cup; will settle down to a three-column story. How? Just this wai Though many turkeys he State the facts in the case in three lines. Then start off with “It is picked out, said that— and let your imagination supply a half-column on the identity _!#¢ didn’t pick one up. of a We will ve sk ye vho said all this, the dead man. Your city editor will never ask you wo said all this, HIS REVENGE. Merritt — Mow did you get square with the minister?” Brown—“He had been lecturing me about gambling all summer, so when I won a turkey at a raffle I invited him to dinner.” MY DEAR YOUNG FRIEND: You ask me how you may become a successful reporter on a New York newspaper. There is only one way and that is to acquire skill in the use of the following expressions : CAVE CANEM. Harold —" Bowleigh ASK HIM ANOTHER. has joined the kennel . Misstonary—"* But, miy-man, don’t you care’ - club. to go where the wicked cease from troubling and Percy—"Yes? [the weary are at rest?” 3 SEATED TixkD ‘TRAVERS—" If yer mean de lodgin’- knew he was going to the house I'd like ter fust rate, but Lhain't got de price.”” NOT IN IT. 1. Buren HaRKiss—" When Joe Harper sees this yer outfit he'll mos’ strangle wiv envy." THANKSGIVING. THE seythe of the mower—its music is o'er— The fruits of the harvest are gathered in store. Abundant reward for a season of toil ‘The earth has returned from her generous soil. And now, with the autumn leaves over her breast, She turns to the sleep of renewal and rest; While we, with her bounties heaped high on the board, Pass round the good fare and the jubilant word With thankfulest laughter, with merriest cheer, And share with each other the gifts of the year, MES. GRORGE ARCHIBALD. 2. '*Great Chicago! Ef he ain't ben an’ set up er tandem.” comicbooks.com