Judge — November 25, 1893 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE ALL THE SAME. ‘THESE Connecticut people are all a lot of pigs,” said the man who got on the train at New Haven as he missed the only vacant seat by six inches. “I don’t hesitate to say so, al- though I am from Connecticut myself.” OVERTRAINED FOR DETAILS. Uncle—"1 would like to accommodate you, Jack, but money is tight and I hope you will take the will for the deed.” Nephew— Certainly. Have you signed it, sir?” A GOOD SUGGESTION. Tom—* My fiancée has a parrot and I want to give her something for it, What would you suggest ?” = Dich— Cat.” OFFENSIVE CURI- OSITY. WELL-NOURISHED dude who was attitudinizing in = yensT front of a popular retail ‘ary. ance TA BRM Y, BOSTON AGAIN. ~ didn’ yez git _marrid Brownino BEAN, JR.—‘* My maternal ancestor is ex- aaa phwile yez was over tremely desirous of a reduction in the linear dimension of urchin in the act of inspecting < th’ wather?" my capillary appendages, and requires me to ascettain pre- him with much curiosity. pga BS vious to the performance the limit of the extortion, as I Aw, I say,” he broke forth, O'Blynn—" Arrab, have only conveyed from our residence a quarter of the AS, Tsay, she: Droke.sorthy now, an’ yez ‘d be sur- present money standard in legal tender.” “what are you staring at me so Seine sow wade? ton, oe pint ; yez, Teddy, thot Oi kem near marryin’ th’ purtiest an’ th’ richest gurl in Oireland ?” = a, . ie by . McGlynn—"Oi wud. An’ how near did yez cum t’ it, Tarance?” WERT ESIENS JENS SINE: O'Blynn— Well, th’ fayther was dead, an’ all Oi'd t' do was t’ obtain th’ consint av th’ gurl ‘HELLO! remarked. the || ~ an‘ her mother an’ ‘twud hov bin done.” HOW MR. JONES LOST HIS TRAIN. WITHIN TWO OF IT. McGlynn—*Soyez are back, are yez, Tar- goods store detected a street rose in the florist’s win- dow to the yellow chrysanthe- A CASE FOR THE S. P. C. A. mum. “Can I lend you fifteen j SHOT an arrow out into the air. cents for a shave?” : It fell to earth, I know not where ; Bie ‘ But I truly hope, as it fell from the sky, A TIMELY PRECAUTION. ey ; It hit some back-yard cat in the eye. Mr. Poultney-Browne—' Sorry to see you walking eh , i lame, my deah Miss de Lacy.” IT HURT HIM, ‘Miss de Lacy (shyly)—"I was vaccinated last week.” < Strawber—"Did you feel the late financial : depression 2” A LUCKY ESCAPE. 2 Singerly—"Feel it! Why, old man, for a $6] UNDERSTAND there were loud calls of “Author! ~~ period of a month I wasn't able to borrow a after the play was done.” dollar.” “Yes; but the mob didn’t catch him." E DUDUS DISCONSOLATUS. OVERHEARD BY MAMMA. I" TAKES nine tailors to make a man, Minnie—“ No, indeed; 1 won't marry you, Reggy.” " Hence Chappie is quite undone ; Reggy—" What's the reason you won't, if Ihave a candy-store and keep For try as hard as ever he can trick donkeys?” He's trusted by only one. Minnie—" You may take to drink if you have so much money.” 3 FINANCIAL RE- SPONSIBILITY. +¢P)ID Dumley’s mar- riage involve any = financial responsibility ?” “Oh, yes; his wife re- —— _ quires him to earn enough \ \ to pay his laundry-bills.”” = CM CARTY 2660 SASS) THE TRUTH. . ‘De many deaths re- sult from foot- ball?” “Yes, indeed. The majority of spectators at a game invariably catch cold.” T°? blame the tool when it slips instead of the Patsy—'‘See here, Andy; Blind Staggers can’t lose de nex’ race. I got dat ete om ia sue of straight from Mulligan hisself.” Go over dere an’ bet Murphy an’ McCarty toa stan’. OPerator is the impul still, even if yer have ter put up two dollars.” the hasty and impatient. PLUNGERS. comicbooks.com