Judge — November 25, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A STUNNING FELLOW. OFF THE TRAIL. S+HAVE you registered, Sam?” asked Simp- son as he climbed into the chair to have his shoes blacked. "No, sah,” returned Sam. nickel ober de countah an’ de ba de regist'rin’.” HARD TO PLEASE. “* Tell me honestly, John. If 1's “I jes" pass de -keepah he do Wife. die would you'marryagain ?” : John (desiting to please) —* Marry again >. Of course I:woulda’t: Such an idea‘would never enter my mind.” : Wife (angrily) —" Ob, you wouldn't?) You don’t find marriage pleasant, 1 suppose. No doubt you are sorry. you married me. Oh, you wretch !* John (still desiting to please) —" You don't understand, myidear. I’ was joking, of course. I meant that I would marry again Wife’ (more angrily) —" You would, eh? You are in-an awful big hurry to get married again. Perhaps you wish I was odt of the way. I know you would be glad if 1 died, you'wretch!” WARD MCALLISTER. CALLED. Lord Fitzhoodude—" There's no form on your beastly American. boats, ye’ knaw. Why, when I came over on’ ithe Paris the. Goricert? programmes didn’t tell us what: hour to‘ order. A CASE OF Carrying a suit from the court of common pleas to— JUDGE WHERE THE SMILE CAME IN. + <THE comedian made bad work of his part last night. “To what do you refer?” “He didn't get a laugh the whole evening.” “No; but did you notice how many men went out between the acts to smile?” ACCOUNTING FOR HIS COLOR. ts] SEE your hired man isan octoroon,” “Oh, no, He's a white man. He's been eating some of my daughter's cooking-school experi- ments this week and he’s bilious.” Hoorit Humpurey—"' Now, if 1 wuz town I'd do it a diffrent color from dat.” ~ SPLAsnER—"* Well, my good fellow, what color would you?" HOSE. supporter — The fire- THE WANDERER'S JOKE. goin’ ter paint that Hoorit Humpnrey—" Red !" IN HORTICULTURE. 1. Witte — "* What kind of flowers in those pots, papa?" MERGENCY, —the supreme court of errors, SENTENCES PASSED BY _ THE: JUDGE. FATE: hath her decoys. While the jackals fight the hare limps home. Little men are like great men— in their defects, The best jokes told about our- selves are those we never hear: When the cause of failure “is known there is generally hope‘of suc- cess. td Most. people have certain ideas of economy which they will put into’ prac- tice at any cost. There is no computing the num- ber of times we have served asa link in the chain of the inevitable in the lives of those whose paths we hate crossed. KATHARINE GROSJRAN. > 2. PAPA—"* Daisies, my boy.” CARRYING THE NAME. Mr. Peck (the grocer) —* What kind of tea did your mamma tell you to get, Tommy?” Tommy Taddells—" Oblong.” comicbooks.com