Judge, 1893-11-18 · page 7 of 16
Judge — November 18, 1893 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple unrelated short humorous pieces typical of Judge's format: **"Safe"** and **"Gentlemanly Ethics"** are joke stories. The first depicts a grocer tricked when a boy claims his payment is inside a pitcher. The second satirizes a man named Cripps who pockets 50 cents in change, then considers himself wronged when the customer demands it back—Cripps believes "real gentlemen" would forget such debts, exposing his hypocritical notion of honor. **Social commentary pieces** mock various types: the mother valuing her daughter's "aristocratic-looking" hands, parental disapproval of children smoking, and marital discord (postponed weddings, bills creating discord). **"Misconstrued—A Tale of Texas"** appears to be a Western farce involving misunderstanding, with cowboys threatening "we've got the drop on yer." The cartoons illustrate these brief satirical vignettes about manners, hypocrisy, and social pretense—Judge's standard targets for middle-class American readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“WANTS CHANGE OF AIR.” JUDGE SAFE, THE grocer-man one autumn day Sat nodding ‘neath his glasses When came a pitcher and a boy To buy some new molasses, ‘The grocer, smiling, pulled the bung ; No syrup could be richer. ** Now, sonny, where's your dime?" quoth he. “Weh-y, hit wuz in de pitcher !" MARY Mt, SCOTT, GENTLEMANLY ETHICS. i A Massachusetts town there lives a man whose duties are those of common carrier when occasion re- quires.» Cripps, as he may be called, is not overscrupulous in business, but holds to the belief that his actions are always those of a gentleman. In the early summer he had to take a trunk to the house of Mr. Tompkyns, a cottage-resident for a few months every year. The charge was fifty cents and unable to change a dollar, pocketed the whole, promising to bring the change in a day or so. A month or so passed and no Cripps with change appeared. Mr. Tompkyns, knowing the man’s failings, waited patiently until his time was over and he was to return to the city. ‘Then Mr. Tompkyns brought Cripps to bay and recovered his money. This action of Mr. Tompkyns rankled in his soul, and finally Cripps vented his feelings thus : “T tries to be a gentleman, an’ I forgot the change; an’ ef Mr. Tompkyns was likewise one, as everybody says he is, he'd forgot about it too; ‘cause that's the way real gentlemen have with each other,” EASILY SATISFIED. GIVE mea quiet mansion in a vale, A peaceful cottage by the mur- muring sea; In fact, a house on almost any scale I would accept if it were given to me. HER REASON. Herr Professor (musical doc- tor)—" Your daughter has a ferry goot ear, madame.” Mamma—"Ab, professor, but Iwant her to study music on ac- NO REMEDY. $4] DON'T believe you will ever marry her. She has post- poned the wedding seven times al- ready.” “1 know it, and I haven't even the power to apply cloture CAUSE AND EFFECT. 66] LIKE this hat,” said Isabel. “Tt makes my face look long and well ; But when dear father saw the bill It made his face look longer still.” THE WILD-OATS AGE. Bobby— Pa, what has that man got in ‘his mouth?” Pa—"A cigarette, Bobby.” Bobby—" Pa, 1 want a cigar- cette.” count of her hands—they're so aris- Dupe Tourtsr—‘* It’s pretty warm in here. What did I do with my Pa—' No, Bobby ; not until you tocratic-looking.” handkerchief ?—— arrive at the age of indiscretion.” —Ab, yes; here it is in my hip-pocket.” CHORUS UF WESTERNERS—" Hold on, there! We've got the drop on yer. MISCONSTRUED—A TALE OF TEXAS, comicbooks.com