Judge — November 18, 1893 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE TRUE CHIVALRY. $ «THANKS, very much,” said a fashionably- dressed lady to a young man who had seen her go down on a banana-peel and promptly tushed to the rescue. “ There is no harm done, but I'm sure awfully ridiculous for any- I must have looked too A FOOT RULE. thing.” “Your attitude was suggestive of true maternal affection. “Indeed you didn’t, ma'am,” reassuringly exclaimed her knight. You re minded me of a hen trying to shelter her brood from a chicken-hawk. ring EASY ENOUGH. Youno cLupMaN—''I s-a-a-y, old ma-an, I don't seem to ma-ake any im- presh'n on Hel'n Ba-angs, ye knaw. Cawn’t understan’ it ‘tawll, ye knaw.”” OLD cLuBMAN—'* You don't go about it right. Just carry yourself with a dashing, distingué air; be witty and brave to recklessness, yet courtly and consid- erate. Pick up a quarrel or two on her account and pink your man and you'll find she'll come round.” ONCE TOO OFTEN. HE. calling season had commenced. Quite early in the evening he arrived with a box of chocolates and handed it to her with the air of a man who has done what feminine America expects. The girl opened the box with little exclama- tions over the tongs and filagree paper. “Won't you have some?” she asked as she laid the box on a table beside him. “ Well—er—really—I am fond of sweets, don’t you know.” He helped himself to one, then another. The girl watched him with a slow smile on her face. Presently he took three in his hand at once, maintaining mean- time a decent and suggestive flow of conversation. “Quite fresh, aren't they?” he interpolated in the next gap of the chocolate refreshment, in the tone of one who has only that instant had the opportunity of making the discovery. The girl forbore to remark that she was not in a position to judge, and he kept up a cheerful com- mentary, “Do you know, I believe those chaps put some different confection in each chocolate in abox. Extraordinary, isn’t it?” She thought it very extraor- dinary indeed, and he took an- other by way of showing his pleasure at her sagacity. Then comments on the wretched No- vember weather necessitated a comforting internal application of chocolate and he took two more, and so on. One hour later RACING EXPRESSION. “Finishing under a strong pull.” THE LOST SHOE; OR, THE DECEIVED CHAMBERMAID. IN PHILOSOPHY. Instructor —* Cadet A., you may define a sonorous body.” Cadet A—"A body which may be made to ring, sir.” Instructor —" For example?” Cadet A—A bell, a pitcher, a napkin.” Instructor—"A napkin, Cadet A.? Explain yourself, sir.” Cadet A—" Why, Tiffany, when I was a plebe, made a napkin- for me.” HE DIDN'T WAIT, “Does Mr, Thompson live here?" ie—"Vep, he lives here; but he ain't in at ** Could you tell me when he will return?” ‘ATIVE—" Blame me ef I know, pardner. He went lopin’ off with ther cyclone thet struck these parts ‘bout a week ago an‘ ain't been seén er heerd of since; but yer kin come in an’ wait fer him ef yer like.” he arose to call upon the next hostess on his list. The girl smiled pleasantly upon him. “Was there a different confection inside each chocolate ?” she asked brightly. He looked blankly at the box. It was empty. She had not eaten one. His apologies lasted some time, but the girl did not seem to hear them. “Good-bye,” she said soothingly. “Don't mind in the least. Our home is quite like those kindly places at the fair, you know, where lunch- baskets may be brought inside.” MADGE ROBERTSON. LIKE LIGHTNING. + O\VHY is it that little widows generally marry the second time for money?” “Love never strikes twice in the same place.” comicbooks.com