Judge — November 4, 1893 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

276 JUDGE THE FIVE AGES OF THE BICYCLE. WELL DIVIDED. Mistress—""1 suppose you had a fine time at the wedding, Mary Ann.” Mary Ann —“Indade an’ we had, mum, We danced ‘til the brith av loife wasn’t lift in us; an’ at supper the broide’s VERY RARE. SEYVHY do you lock that safe so care- fully at night?” “Why? Great Casar, man, there are several re- ceipted bills in it !” 64 JUDGE not a man by clothes he wears !* Poor phrase! Judge rather by the clothes for which he pays. AT THE SALMAGUNDI CLUB. cake was broke over her head an’ into a hundhred halves.” First artist—''I'm pleased to notice the evidence of your prosperity. Sold a picture?” SECOND ARTIST—‘* This is entre nous, old fellow. All summer TOO FRESH. Se PON'T make a joke of that kind again,” said the city editor to the new reporter who, in an interview about the failure of the Veragua fund, had referred to the duke as “a Spanish fly.” “ What's the matter with it?” innocently asked the tyro. “ Matter with it? Why, a ‘Spanish fy’ never fails to draw.” FALL STYLES. Oo" WOMEN of fashion adopting fall styles, How much ‘twould astonish us all If you should select as the fashion to-day ‘The style that was worn at the fall! A REMEDY SUGGESTED. Physician —" Madam, your tongue is of an abnormal size. You should have it re- duced.” T've been painting placards reading, ‘World’s fair highest medal awarded to our house,’ and sold them to every piano-manufacturer in the country. Patient —" What would you advise me to do?” Physician —" Are you an actress?” No, doctor.” Physician —" Then you might join Sorosis. HER SE COND. Essie—* Doctor, my toof hurts me an’ 1 must at it” TOO MUCH FOR WoRDs. ALGIE—"' She took the cigawette wight out of me mouth and threw it in the stweet.” —** What did you say ?” Nothing at all; just cwied.” mamma says let you look sie—" No, my twooth that hurts.” MORE LIKE IT. Hunker—“ Miss Kilduff is a girl of the period. She is always asking ques- tions.” Spatts —"In that case 1 should call her a girl of the interrogation-point.”” SEX IN GARMENTS. Mamma — Did you find your uncle Tom sick in bed, Arthur?” Arthur (aged seven)— No, mamma. He was sitting up with his Father Hubbard wrapper on; an’ he was eating some tea.” Mum's the word.” THE BONDAGE OF FASHION. $6 \ STEAM yacht’s an expensive luxury, and as times are hard and I'm getting pretty tired of mine, I think I'll sell it next spring.” “Sell it?” exclaimed his wife. “ Impossible! You can’t afford to. Our neighbor, Mrs. Buckstone, tells me her husband has just given an order to have his lengthened six feet. “ What!" he shouted, jumping from his chair, “I thought Buckstone was going to sell too. Mary, I must have ten feet added to mine or buy a new yacht.” WELL VERSED IN DIVISION. Pa—"Bobby, the school-teacher informs me that you are well up in division.” Bobby — Yes, sir.” Pa— Well, Bobby, suppose I told you to divide this apple equally between your little sister and yourself—how much would she get?” Bobby —" The core.” JOTTED DOWN. Georgie —" Mamma, Ethel’s no fun at all any more; she bawls at every little thing.” Ethel— Don't believe him, mamma; he’s pinch- ed me all full of black- and-blue memorandums.” comicbooks.com