Judge — October 28, 1893 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE ABSENTEE. , to congress with a hurrah and a ‘coters helped him in to help the out. a colonel, and a general he .! he’s nothing but an Ab Sen Tee. war is over and the boys have to roam ; s good-bye to Grover and he heads fe for home : s again for office—what a slashin’ will be, agle voter as an stow’s SooTHING SyRuP for Chil- soothes the child, softens the ii pain, cures wind colic and diar- a bottle. AMiddletown editor is critically ill as a re- sot of eating toadstools, and we trust the press sswciation of Connecticut will not overlook the efease. A more humiliating impeachment of tn booored craft has not been entered since an Iogana editor was mistaken for a woodchuck 121 filled up to the ears with buckshot. No reader people are doing more thinking for themselves.— New York” Commercial Adver- fier, Take Bromo-Seltzer for insomnia Refore retiring—Trial bottle, 10 ets. If at first you don't succeed Try, try again, For perseverance overcomes All things of mortal ken : And if you do not get the girl You want, or think you do, You're safe in betting you will get ‘The girl that’s wanting you. —Desroit Free Press. hey say that Gussie Codley Mirands— reilly wears stays.” Amanda—" I don't know about that; but I am sure that his ar me." —Brooklyn Life, From morn till night you hear the sound Of housewife’s voice and servant's yell; same old query going round, * Say! did you make your jelly jell?” —Boston Budget. SPECULATION with no risk. We have paid v0 PER CENT, IN SIX MONTHS on deposits of $20 and upwards. Book of particulars mailed free. WA FRAZIER & CO., Broxens, Prrtssura, Pa. GENTLEMEN! Don't suffer longer with imperfect and Unreliable Coutar Buttons, | A postal ard will bring you a circular describing ne Benediet?? patent. Juvce in- éorses it as the best. Made in both solid ‘evr od 71 vata, N.Y, ci. What's in a name? A great deal of signif cance, sometimes. Great Britain is having planned four new war-ships which will bear the significant names of Magnificent, Majestic, Powerful and Terrible, and the official an- nouncement is made that they will be worthy of their names, What could a battle-ship, everything else being equal, named, say, Black- eyed Susan do against one of these new English terrors?—Mail and Express, A GOOD CHILD is usually healthy, and both conditions are de- veloped by use of proper food. The Gail Bor- den Eagle Brand Condensed Milk is the best infant's food ; so easily prepared that improper feeding is inexcusable, Grocers and druggists. Miss Sakerei is a young Japanese woman edgcated in America dod seni tack by the wo- man's Christian temperance union to abate the drink evil in the insular country. She reported yesterday at a meeting that two insuperable ob- | stacles prevented temperance reform in Japan. | The natives have no money to contribute for | the work of regeneration, and the Japanese are not addicted to drink.—Chicago Times, ‘The aldermen are out of town, But ‘tis no use to lock it; For whether they are in or out ‘The town is out of pocket. —Evening World, Conductor (giving him a shake)—'* Tickets !" ‘Sleeping suburbanite (pushing his hand away) —'"No, you don't, Maria! if you want that baby walked with you can walk with him your- self. I'm going to get some sleep to-night, by jocks! if 1'miss fifty trains."—Chicago Trib. une, Northern investor—* But they was lynched here the other day.” Southern realestate agent—"A base slander, sir. The rope broke and he got away."—WMew York Tribune, - y a negro “Do we know how to eat?” asks an editorial in Mr. Watterson’s Courier-Journal, We don't know about that, of course, but the fiancé of the star-eyed goddess is generally understood to be accomplished in other ways.—Beston Globe, In these days of progress the BEST is just good enough for a buyer who pays his honest Dollars. Among Pianos the BEST is the arags BE tath St, few Vore. BICYCLES siiiirs 1108 Olive Street, sob-3r4 Post Street, few or 2d handslowest jr qistgck makersaciden denleets ‘San Francisco. ‘St. Louis, Mo. iQ i Webel everywnere. Caian/ron a8 os Primley’s: California Fruit Chewing Gum 1s a perfectly delictous, frult-flavored Gum—quit nary gums. Parifies the breath, cleans and preserves! digestion. Alldealerssellit. "FREE BOOK S—We offer you great nducements to become ide wrappers of either and two Z-cent stamps, uainted with our Gums. fornia Frait or California Pepsin Gum, nd we will send you, postpaid, Charlotte M: inlike ord!- teeth, and alds ‘Send five out- Bend for our list of 1,700 @ ROUSE, HAZARD &.CO, 91 @8t, Peoriay tk. NOSHI AND THE MORNING-GLORY. (From the Japanese.) Tt was the rosy flush of dawn In beautiful Japan, When through the ancient garden-ways Came little Noshi San, Her strapped and lacquered wooden shoes ‘A-clicking as she ran. She stooped beside the mossy well Beneath the gnarled pine, And would have drawn, but that she spied ‘A morning-glory vine Which in the night the pail had wreathed In exquisite design. The dainty thief smiled up at her With velvet eyes of blue. Uncertain, little Noshi stood Debating what to do; ‘Then sudden raised her empty pail ‘And toa neighbor flew. “ Giftewater, friends, I crave,” she said; “* For in the night a vine Has seized my bucket, and so fair Its fragile arms entwine I could not rudely tear them off. Pray let me fill with thine,” —Mary M. Scott in St, Nicholas, Why go to Europe for champagne when there isa better article at home? ‘Try Cood’s Extra Dry Imperial Champagne. “What makes the men love Mary $0?" The jealous maidens cry. ~ “Oh, Mary doesn’t sing, you knot ‘And more—she doesn't try.” —Kansas City Journal. AUTUMN NUMBER, JUDGH’S QUARTERLY. A MAGAZINE OF WIT AND HUMOR. 56 Handsomely Printed Pages. Profusely Mlustrated by the Judge Artists. JUST ISSUED! Costs 25 cts., and worth a dollar, Buy it when offered. YOU'VE SEEN HIM. Though very much he loves to smoke, He better loves to talk, And oft his ways the friends provoke He meets upon a walk; For many a match he lights with care, Then turns his head about And talks and nods and pufis the air ‘And lets the match go out. —New York Times, specific against dyspepsia and as an +, also for mixing in drinks, nothing’ is superior to BOKER’S BITTERS, renowned since 1828, There have been hopes that the Indian na- tions would gradually become assimilated to the methods of American politics, but such expec- tations are now shown to have been ill-founded. The governor of the Chickasaw nation has re- fused to accept one thousand dollars in legal fees that had been placed to his credit.—Pitts- burg Dispatch. Irving's receipts in San Francisco for two weeks were over sixty-five thousand dollars. Henry can now understand why they call it the Golden gate.—Brooklyn Visitor—“* Whose exhibit is that?" Colum- sian guard (obligingly inspecting it)—"* Some Russian’s, I guess. His name seems to be Handsoff."—Exchange. WILLIAMS? SHAVING STICK. Shaving teGecper! Zrabonrd ship. Get WILLIAMS’—if you want the dest piece of Shaving Soap made for travelers’ use. (Gee cut.) asc. at all Drug Stores. WILLIAMS'—GENUINE 95 “Jersey Cream” Toilet Soap Lub: ‘Try It for Rough Hands-Heals-Softens-Beautifies. Siam's surrender to France is complete; but no one can blame the king, who has several hundred wives, for doing anything for the sake of peace.—Rochester Post Express. zoth Edition, postpaid for ase. (or stamps). THE HUMAN HAIR, Why it Falls Off, Turns Gray, and the Remedy. By PROF. HARLEY PARKER, F.R.A. 5. G,K. Lone &'Co., 1013 Arch St ideiphia, Pa. “itvery one should read this little book.""—A thenarum, World's-fatr travelers will be delighted with the fanny Jepor’s QuantunLy. Bcents. CARL UPMANN’S BOUQUET CIGAR. me's famous book, “Dora Thorne.” me famous b en J. P. PRIMLEY, Chicago, Ill. FL VOBONSOOLB GOOG You po: BECAUSE. YOU BEWARE OF IMITATIONS. 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