Judge, 1893-10-14 · page 7 of 16
Judge — October 14, 1893 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief satirical sketches typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"The Dainty Dog and the Dirty Tramp"** presents anthropomorphized dogs with a class commentary—a refined dog complains that a vagrant tramp has contaminated his dinner with "dirty paws," reflecting anxieties about social contamination and class boundaries. **"The Bargain Fad"** mocks Chicago society women's frequent divorces by suggesting they time them strategically to coincide with "bargain days," satirizing both the ease of divorce among the wealthy and the commercialization of marriage dissolution. **"Their First Cloud"** depicts newlyweds' marital discord resolved absurdly—the wife's hidden shame is merely craving onions, not infidelity or serious conflict. The remaining pieces ("Delicate Satire," "Electric Shirt-Studs") offer brief social commentary on pretension and hypocrisy. Overall, this is genteel satirical humor targeting upper-class behavior, marriage customs, and social pretense—typical Judge magazine fare from the late 19th or early 20th century.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Hoxcry Jor away.” THEIR FIRST CLOUD. HEY had been married less than a month, Their three weeks of a bridal-tour was over and they had been in the little nest which he had provided for his birdie only four days, In those four days a change had come over her. She was not the same happy, blithesome creature she had been. She scemed to be brooding over something—a hidden sor- row which she showed no inclination to reveal to him. What could it be? He Just my luck! As soon as I find a good meal I'm driven THE DAINTY DOG AND THE DIRTY TRAMP, Rover—" He's had his dirty paws on my dinner. — THE BARGAIN FAD. S+D)OESN'T it cost you Chicago wo- men a good deal of money, first and last, for your divorces?" “Oh, no; not if you take advantage of the bargain-days.”” A PLEA FOR THE QUATRAIN, THESE days we live are busy times, ‘That teach naught but compressing ; The thought that won't go in four rhymes Is never worth expressing. determined to ask her—to assert his rights —to command her to divulge her secret if necessary. One evening he led her to HIS DELICATE SATIRE. Park-phacton driver (ccushingly, to swell who is driving with lady and has grazed his wheel)—"" Hadn't you better let Ugh! I can’t stomach it now.” the lady drive?” “ But you must, I command you !” “Why—why "— “Well, what is it?” he demanded impatiently, as she paused. “ Must I tell?” “You must,” replied Edwin with a great lump in his throat. “\Will you promise not to despise me or send me home to mamma?” “T make no promises until I hear your story,” said Edwin sternly. “Go on.” “Why,” sobbed the little woman, “I've got awlully hungry for a mess of onions, and I was wondering if you'd ever love me any more if I cooked some?” “Just what I've been pining for myself!" cried Edwin. “Let's have some beefsteak smothered with onions for dinner to-night.” Which they did, and their first cloud rolled serenely by. FOOTING HIS BILL, WILLIAM HENRY SIVITER. the sofa, placed her on his knee, took her hands in his and said solemnly, ” Carrie.” “Yes, Edwin.” * You have something on your mind?” She hung her head. “T want to know what it is?” She answered not. “Wives should have no secrets from their husbands.”” She began to sob. This was dreadful, What could be the trouble? * Carrie, it is my right to know what is burdening your mind,” he went on hoarsely. “Oh, Edwin, you will despise me!” “ What is it, Carrie?” “Oh, I can’t tell you!” THOSE ELECTRIC SHIRT-STUDS. “+ Friend, this vulgar display of diamonds, coupled with a wublic show of thy besetting sin, tends to show a very worldly jife. If thee would look to brethren of the cloth for example it would avail thee much.” (Jn the tunnel)“ Here's lookin’ at yer, deacon !” comicbooks.com