Judge, 1893-10-14 · page 10 of 16
Judge — October 14, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humorous sketches typical of Judge's satirical format: **"Goldgrabber and the Cop"** features a Yiddish-accented immigrant shop owner complaining to a policeman about his lazy son Solomon, who won't work. The satire targets both the stereotyped "lazy youth" of the era and immigrant work ethic anxieties—contrasting the father's decades of labor with the son's entitlement. **"Cure for the Malady"** and **"Good-Enough Reason"** mock insurance companies' evasiveness about payouts and trolley-car accident risks, satirizing emerging industrial-era insurance practices. **"Tea-Table Philosopher"** presents a child's illogical reasoning—turning a spilled dish into good fortune because he dislikes apple-sauce—as innocent humor. The remaining sketches address courtship, poetry commerce, and common expressions. The page reflects Judge's blend of immigrant caricature, emerging corporate satire, and domestic humor popular in early 20th-century American periodicals.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE #4 J) YOU see anyt'ings obf dot poy Solomon ohf mine day-times?” asked Mr. Goldgrabber of the friendly cop the other morning as he swept off the sidewalk in front of his store. “No? I didn’t know but maype you scen him somevheres. He don’d come home all day. He ain’d doin’ noding bud loafing now fur six veeks, He lefd dot butcher-shtore pecause he say it vas dirdy, und he left dot corset-shtore pecause he learn noding dere, he say; und he left dot cigar- shtore pecause he say dere no money in dot, he say; und he say he vant to go into pees- niss fur himself; but vhat do he know aboud peesniss, und me here fur dwendy-four years und geddin’ stug righd along? 1 don’d know vhat to do mit dot poy. His mudder peen feedin’ him righd along fur six months fur noding, und he geds a glean bair ohf socks ek. Ain’d dot a bienic fur a young man, hey? No vonder he don’d vant to And Mr. Goldgrabber calculated the supposititious profit providing each man in in of rapid-transiters rushing by overhead would stop and buy a shirt. CURE FOR THE MALADY. Patient —“1 say, doc, when do you think I'll be out of this Doctor—* Well, 1 can cure you at once for cash or in a week for thirty days.” A GOOD-ENOUGH REASON. S“TTHE doctor examined me and reported that I was all right, but the company refused to issue a policy upon my life.” “What do the idiots object to?” cried his wife indignantly. “They are not idiots, my dear. ‘They have discovered that a trolley-car line runs through ‘our street.” A TEA-TABLE PHILOSOPHER. Bobby (who has accidentally upset the dish of apple- sauce)—" Now, isn’t that lucky !” Mamma—" What do you mean, you naughty boy?” Bobby— Lucky 1 don’t like apple-sauce.” FOOT-BALL TERM. “Almost a touch-down." MITIGATING HIS GRIEF, RETRIBUTION, HE poet wrote some lines on time, but oh, SOYVHAT are you crying for, Bobby?” said They did not sell, His cyes with tears were dim; Willie Cawker to a little playmate. His face shows many signs of care, and so ‘ve lost a big silver dollar that Uncle Frank Tt seems that time has placed its lines on him. gave me. Boo-hoo!" “Pooh! I wouldn't worry about that. There's VENETIAN PROVERB. only fifty-five cents’ worth of silver in the coin [TIS better to be master of a small boat than captain of anyhow.” a vessel. WATERED STOCK. eos eee 1 He—" Where are you going, my pretty maid?” = going to slap your face, you impudent would-be masher from l sd " she said. comicbooks.com