Judge — October 14, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE #4 J) YOU see anyt'ings obf dot poy Solomon ohf mine day-times?” asked Mr. Goldgrabber of the friendly cop the other morning as he swept off the sidewalk in front of his store. “No? I didn’t know but maype you scen him somevheres. He don’d come home all day. He ain’d doin’ noding bud loafing now fur six veeks, He lefd dot butcher-shtore pecause he say it vas dirdy, und he left dot corset-shtore pecause he learn noding dere, he say; und he left dot cigar- shtore pecause he say dere no money in dot, he say; und he say he vant to go into pees- niss fur himself; but vhat do he know aboud peesniss, und me here fur dwendy-four years und geddin’ stug righd along? 1 don’d know vhat to do mit dot poy. His mudder peen feedin’ him righd along fur six months fur noding, und he geds a glean bair ohf socks ek. Ain’d dot a bienic fur a young man, hey? No vonder he don’d vant to And Mr. Goldgrabber calculated the supposititious profit providing each man in in of rapid-transiters rushing by overhead would stop and buy a shirt. CURE FOR THE MALADY. Patient —“1 say, doc, when do you think I'll be out of this Doctor—* Well, 1 can cure you at once for cash or in a week for thirty days.” A GOOD-ENOUGH REASON. S“TTHE doctor examined me and reported that I was all right, but the company refused to issue a policy upon my life.” “What do the idiots object to?” cried his wife indignantly. “They are not idiots, my dear. ‘They have discovered that a trolley-car line runs through ‘our street.” A TEA-TABLE PHILOSOPHER. Bobby (who has accidentally upset the dish of apple- sauce)—" Now, isn’t that lucky !” Mamma—" What do you mean, you naughty boy?” Bobby— Lucky 1 don’t like apple-sauce.” FOOT-BALL TERM. “Almost a touch-down." MITIGATING HIS GRIEF, RETRIBUTION, HE poet wrote some lines on time, but oh, SOYVHAT are you crying for, Bobby?” said They did not sell, His cyes with tears were dim; Willie Cawker to a little playmate. His face shows many signs of care, and so ‘ve lost a big silver dollar that Uncle Frank Tt seems that time has placed its lines on him. gave me. Boo-hoo!" “Pooh! I wouldn't worry about that. There's VENETIAN PROVERB. only fifty-five cents’ worth of silver in the coin [TIS better to be master of a small boat than captain of anyhow.” a vessel. WATERED STOCK. eos eee 1 He—" Where are you going, my pretty maid?” = going to slap your face, you impudent would-be masher from l sd " she said. comicbooks.com