Judge — October 7, 1893 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE GOOD-BYE, SUMMER. THE summer had dropped into the placid old age of Sep- tember. It was the old sea-side story. Her dog lay at her feet in the moonlight, wonder- ing with huge yawns what attraction there could possibly be in the waves when it was past the time of day to throw sticks in them. “He is awfully fond of you,” observed the man, The girl assented absently. Dog devotion was no theme for this late date It was not needed to lead up to the man’s devotion. Earlier in the summer things were warier and brisker. Now she was occupied with the usual autumn problem. The summer man had been caught ages ago. How to get rid of him? “You will go to the mountains this week ?" he hazarded. The girl was cautious. “We often do,” she replied vaguely. “Would you mind—er—mar- tying me before you go The girl was astonished into saying “ No-o-o.” “Thank you,” he went on. “Suppose we say to-morrow at noon, at old Trinity? I shall speak BUSINESS NOTE. Signor Macaroni is doing a rushing business in the fruit line. THE SURPRISED DONKEY, aa THE WAY HE SPENT IT. Mrs, WeLLMENT—" Why, you are the same man I gave ten cents to last week. What did you do with it?” Huscry Harry—" Well, I'll tell’ yer honest, mum. I spent it fer a Turkish bath, a hair-cut, a shampoo, a shave, a shine, a white-flannel yachting-suit an’ a diamond pin; an’ I'm sorry ter say, mum, dat I'm busted agin.” THE ENGLISH METHOD. ‘THE English are still laughing over Doug- lass Jerrold.” “Suill laughing? My boy, you are mis- taken. They are just beginning to see the point of his jokes,” REWARD VERSUS PUNISHMENT. THE mule kept on sliding and slipping ‘Till, half mad, the man happened to think to the rector to-night. And now (rising) you no doubt will have some things to see about. Come.” And helping her up he kissed her lightly and they went back to the cottage. That rewards were much better than whipping. * Stop !" said he; ** you shall go to the rink.” KEPT HIM BUSY. The girl, in a dazed condition, sought her room, “ There's a rav- ing lunatic out there,” she remarked dispassionately to her sister, and then fell asleep and forgot all about it. Next morning the man walked her off after sea-shells, and inci- dentally hurried her into old Trinity. On the way up the aisle it oc- curred to the girl to say that it was all a mistake, But no one had time to listen to her, and the service was swift and sure. Presently the knot was tied, the family pacified, and the wedding-trip begun, and it was not until Chicago was reached that the girl had a chance to get off the speech, carefully prepared since July, in which the man was to be shown, kindly yet distinctly, how quite impossible it was that there should ever be anything but friendship between them. MADGE ROREXTION, St. Peter—"You say you are a signe painter?” Shade—"Yes.” St, Peter—Well, I wish you'd get me up a sign—'No mis- takes rectified after leaving the gate.” I'm getting tired of changing wings.” FOR MIND AND MUSCLE, Waiter (in a Bos- ton café) —"Brain or brawn?” Diner— Both.” Waiter (to cook) —" White-fish and spring chicken.” AT THE DENTIST’S, Mr. Blumenthal—"You vas von noble, prave liddle poy, Ikey, und here is fife tollar fer having dose four teedth oud—a tollar und a quvarter abiece.” Zkey—" Put me pack in dot shair, fader, und I haf me der rest obf ‘em oud at der same brice.” DEPENDS ON CIRCUMSTANCES. Visitor—" Don't you wish you had a little brother, Bobby?” Bobby—" Well, ‘long about peach-time I think one little boy in a family is enough; but ‘long about spanking-time there ought to be two of us.” OF OBSCURE ORIGIN. OG WONDER what is meant by cardinal principles ?” “Iam sure I don’t know, In the early days of cardinals they didn’t seem to have any principles.” ACCOUNTED FOR. Twynn—" Reddick has lived in the same house for fifteen years. He never moves.” Triplett —“ Of course not. He is a chess-player. ANOTHER EVOLUTION. ‘The cigarette and the dude. comicbooks.com