Judge, 1893-09-23 · page 3 of 16
Judge — September 23, 1893 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humorous sketches typical of Judge magazine's format: **"Not Ready-Made"** mocks a servant's poor dining service through dialogue. **"Very Warm"** jokes about a man who placed a pickled object in a soup tureen as a prank. **"Appropriate"** satirizes a center-fielder singing while running—presented as fitting behavior for him. **"Instructions"** depicts a brief theatrical exchange between author and manager. **"They Come High"** shows a man trying to sell a painting to someone claiming ownership. The remaining sketches ("Couldn't Tell the Difference," "That's Different," "The Only One He Knew," "Accounted For," "On the Rialto," and "Remorse") are separate domestic or social humor comics with no apparent political content. This appears to be general entertainment/humor content rather than political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THEY COME HIGH. Bixco—"' This is rather a unique set of china you have, old man, It must have cost you a pretty penny.” KincLey—“'It did. My wife painted it.” COULDN’T TELL THE DIFFERENCE. AX ELDERLY couple, with their daughter, from one of the back counties of Con- necticut boarded the train at Greenwich, bound for New York. After seeing the n seated the old man went into the smoking-car, just ahead, to enjoy his pipe. ile the train was passing through the tunnel some signal torpedoes were ex- ploded on the track. “Lor' sakes, Jane!” exclaimed the old lady, “did you hear that? Your father's gone and got the hiccups ag’in.” THAT’S DIFFERENT. Dick—* Look here, sister, I can’t come to my lessons just yet; I ain't washed.” Elder sister—AM\ right, Dick; I'm not quite ready for you any way.” Dick—* Well, you're a nice teacher, you are! Here it is after ten o'clock. Come, now, you better hump yourself.” REMORSE. Fare Hicks—"Sa-ay, Jake, why the dickens are yew shearing thet sheep wrong Farmer Green—‘t Wa-al, yew see, sence I voted fer Cleveland last fall I feel thet sh Tain’t got ther courage tew look a sheep in the face,” 179 NOT READY-MADE, ‘O PLEASE the table-girl, I To her she was a ready maid ; “+ Not so,” said she, “oh, flattering boarder, Tam your servant, maid.to-order.”” VERY WARM. Bunker —* Pretty hot yesterday, wasn’t it? Hill—" Hot is no name for it. My wife puta pickerel in a soup-tureen and he perspired so much he was swimming around inside of thirty minutes.” APPROPRIATE. Spectator —“Why, the fielder is singing while runnin; Stockholder—' Yes, that's a trick of his.” Spectator-—" What's he singing Stockholder—"* After the ball. INSTRUCTIONS. Author—"V have a great idea for a farce-comedy.” Manager—“All right; go ahead and write it. Only leave the idea out.” THE ONLY ONE HE KNEW. *Can you direct me to the art-museum 2?" * De only art-muscum Oi knows on, miss, is de rogues’ gallery at headquarters.” ACCOUNTED FOR. Customer —"" That stone is off color. it is.” Rubenstein —" Yellow is it? Mine friend, you don’t know vat you vos talking of. Dot is on’y der reflection of dot buildings across the vay.” Look, how yellow ON THE RIALTO. Mr. Mortimer Tick —“ Monty, | find I can get to Aus- tralia for sixty dollars. Now, Hardpan owes me twenty-five and I've got twenty, and if you'll try to scratch around and let me have the other fifteen I'll start next week,” Mr. Montague Hock —"V'll try it, old boy, but what in the world do you want to go to Australia for ?” Mr. Mortimer Tick (with a look of astonishment) — “Why, I've never been there,” comicbooks.com