Judge, 1893-09-02 · page 6 of 16
Judge — September 2, 1893 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief humorous anecdotes and satirical observations typical of Judge's format. Key pieces include: **"Slack Philosophy"** mocks a deacon lecturing his son about exercise—the heir wants a boxing machine and rowing machine but refuses manual labor. The satire targets wealthy African Americans adopting leisure pursuits while neglecting family responsibilities. **"A Woman's Reason"** satirizes British snobbery through two society women; Mrs. Bull won't live in England because a London cabman called her a "measly old humbug"—deflating pretensions about British class respect. **"The Farmer's Return"** jokes about rural life's impracticality—a farmer abandons his purchased farm to visit town for fresh vegetables. **"It's an Ill Wind"** depicts a shy suitor (Mr. Broadbrim) overshadowed by a fashionable one (Mr. Derby) until rain forces them to share shelter, giving him unexpected advantage. The smaller jokes mock various absurdities: fairs, philosophy, missionary work, and photography. The overall tone is light social commentary on American pretension and behavior circa early 1900s.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘ 4 | HAD hard luck at the fair.” “How?” “One of the bees in the honey- making exhibit stung me on the nose, and when I complained they fined me ten dollars for interfering with the exhibits.” IN CHICAGO. ASKED her if she had read Kant. ~~ “Oh, no,” she replied; “*he's a bore. But I have a sweet copy of Dante With beautiful pictures by Dore.” A MOTT-STREET “MOURNER.” She (Mott-street missionary)— “And now, Soon Hung, wouldn't you like to have your sins washed away?” Soon Hung —"Me no likee *Melican washee. Dam! ‘Melican gal no givee ticke SS horrid of the men to stare so, Don't you?” . Let's hurry and get into the water.” | 7 . “Oh, wait a moment, I'see Mr, Fiend coming this way with his kodak “6\JHAD yo’ got in WwW dat bundle in yo’ room?” asked Deacon Randolph the other morn- ing. “T got er set ob box- in'-gloves an’ er rowin'= machine. I need exer- cise,” replied the heir-ap- parent. “Yo' need exercise, ch?" said the deacon, “Paps ef yo" ‘tended t’ yo tables properly durin’ de day yo" get exercise enough an’ mo" tips. How much wood yo’ sawed after hours fo’ yo" poor ole fader? Didn’ I heah yo’ poor ole mudder ask yo" t* bring up a hod ob coal las’ night an’ yo" say yo’ was too tired? Yo’ too debilitated t’ saw wood, bring up coal, split kindlin’s, or go t’ pra’r-meetin’, but yo" constitushun am strong enough t’ stay out ebery night till two o'clock an’ drink gin an’ fool wid boxin’-gloves an’ rowin'-machines, Go ‘long wiv yo’! Ef yo’ brought home yo’ poor ole mudder a wringin’-machine or yo’ poor old fadder a fish-line yo’ show yo" car’ somefin’ fo’ yo’ parents; but now I see yo’ am no bettah dan a’ arnichist!" A WOMAN’S REASON. Mrs. John Bull— No, Mrs. Vesey; although Hinglish and brought up to respect the nobility, and no great hadmirer of republican hinstitutions, I still would not care to live in Hingland Mrs. Vesey—" Why $0, Mrs. Bull?” Mrs. John Bull—"1 went back to London about ten years ago, and the very first cabman who drove me called me a ‘measly old ‘umbug."” FEMININE CRITICISM. He—Do you think Miss van Twilkens’s photographs do her jus- tice?” She—"Oh, y pered with mercy. justice tem- TRANSPARENT. ‘ SGHE was a phantom of delight.” I loved and dared to woo her, But quickly gave it up, for I So easily saw through her. THE FARMER’S RETURN. Gadsell—" Why, old man, | thought you were living up in the country on a farm you had bought. ‘What are you doing in town?” Gibsby —"1 came in to get some fresh vegetables,” WOMAN, Fj ATs PR IT’S AN ILL WIND, ETC. Mr. Broadbrim was ‘not in it" with Mr. Derby, so far as Miss Heiress was concerned — —until that unexpected shower came up. comicbooks.com