Judge — August 19, 1893 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UP WITH THE TIMES. PAT (soliloguising —‘* Now Oi hcv ut finished, an’ afther Oi hov filled th’ rhoomatic toire she ‘Il bate annyt'ing an th’ road.” THE MAHARAJAH’S TURBAN. SUPPOSE HIS STYLE OF HEADWEAR BECOMES POPULAR. New York policeman—".Dom thim forrin hats! Fer tin minutes hov Oi bin fannin’ thot haythen, an’ divil a bit he moinds.” The: sand-bagger—" There's a good sand-bag busted. What would "become of us tradesmen if they wore them things in Jersey?” ‘As a handy pillow it would’ prove a great luxury to gentlemen desiring to sleep in the gutter. : And it would adapt itself mercifully to that difference in the morning. The bathing resorts wouldn't need to furnish any more bathing-towels. Think bow handy they would be for hammocks, or for letting one’s self out of the win- dows of burning hotels. The bald-headed man could defy flies and funny men. Worn by waiters they would do away with the necessity for brushing and combing your hash before eating. But, oh, how would a New York politician look? HE WAS NOT. Colonel Black (a southerner of the old school, who has not visited New York since “befo’ the wah")— “Beg y'u pahdon, suh, but I wish to inquiah whethah this buildin’ is provided with fiah- HIS WEAK POINT. son hate FAatner (impressively)—"* Listen, Rudolph. Thirty years ago your father hade't a dollar. Now'l own rail Hotel- clerk (wery roads, steamboats, Banks, real estate; am a United States brusquely) —There’s senator, feared and respect all; and remember, Rudolph, all this.I accomplished iy my terrible will-power T° Reed of, them here. and bull-dog tenacity.” This building is strict- Rupotrx—* But you can't’ shut mamma's mouth ly fire-proof.” when she once gets a-goin’, can you, papa?” Colonel Black (with dignity) — “ Subtenly, suh; suhtenly. The buildin’ may be, but I, subj/am not.” LOGIC. Mother—"\'m sure I don’t know who you took your laziness from, Johnnie. It must have been your father.” Johnnie—“Not much! Pa ‘s got all the laziness he evcr had.” WIFE TO BLAME. Ted—" How was it Mrs. Ricuts—‘* Did you say, John, that this man got five hundred you didn’t enjoy the dollars a night fer talkin’?” ball-game?’ Joun—" Yes, mother; he gets more sometimes. And he was a poor Grorcr. (trites)— Dear uncle—Owing to a press- Ned" had agit {21ers bow, but he says his wife made him what he is.” ing engagement at the park last evening Iwas unableto _ ‘Ved—“I had agirl Mrs. Richts—" Yes, that’s just like a man—blame everything on come up.” with me. his wife.” comicbooks.com