Judge — August 12, 1893 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J. Amwxts. ~ Beexwano GiLam, TM. Guncony, Editor. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATRS AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or s2 numbers = $5.00 ‘One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 3.40 One copy: for 13 weeks = = 13g Including the Cwrstaas Jupce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—Tealt for- digm countries in the poital union, $60 year, THe JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JuncE BUILDING), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York. We guarantee advertiters cal paper priblished. The Jona is for sale at Brenta Con. 25 ata 17 other American sati 1,17 Avenue del Opera, Paris: Smith, Ainslee & ‘and, London, Emcland ; at Saarbach's News Exchange, Germans, and 07 Ch. fi Alioth, Genera, Selttrland. Me addvess—" JUDGRARK.” £27" NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Jupce are protected by copy- right in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be ptly and vigorously prosecuted, Say, colonel! is this hot enough for [* WOULD NOT be wholly out of place to mention the kaiser as the army Bill. HARMONY is urged by the Albany Argus with the untiring zeal of a man training for a prize-fight. THE MOTTO of the silver men is that of the late Jefferson Davis— “All we ask is to be let alone.” MEYER, the alleged: poisorer, is frequently sick. We suspected this when we saw his picture in the newspapers. THE CHRISTIAN WE) re still discussing Sunday-open- ing at Chicago. Next week they will take up the slavery question. SENATOR HILL has named his Albany place Wolfert’s Roost. ‘The birds are in high feather, There is a famous place called Buzzard’s bay. “O1ONE His noreku.— EFUSING TO RUN for governor aa ter have er nigger of Kansas, Jerry Simpson exhib- its a profundity of indifference to notoriety that takes thé rufiles off his shirt, MUSEUM WOMAN twice bitten by a deadly snake said, “I had to earn food for my little ones.” earning it for the snake. Rather, it appears to us, she was CHARITY is humiliating to the person who accepts it, and for that reason we assume that the duke of Veragua and his family will go to work and earn their own living, THE STATEMENT that Mr, Platt has retired from polities reminds one of the remark that three and three are five. A youthful mathe- matician said of that that in his opinion it was a darned lie. OME DISASTERS at Chicago are held by the church people to be retribution for Sunday-opening, but Totten says. they indicate the judgment. Only one thing is certain in this world, and that is that you den’t know, THE PEOPLE of Colorado, led by their governor, tried to frighten somebody, and with such success that they had a panic among them- selves which stopped most of their banks. The rest of the world looked on with a sad, sweet smile. COMETS AND FIRE-EATERS. N THE TENTH of July the latest comet was within twenty million miles of the earth, coming head on, About that time the silver men FATHER AND SON PLanrer —“* You little scamp, didn’ play with er nigger? What da you mean by disobeying me, sir?” lease, pap, we were playing lynching, and we of Colorado were shrieking for blood, and within four days the celestial visitor, having turned tail, was sixty million miles away. There is a lesson here. HER EXPENSIVE GRIEF. HE SUFFERINGS of the woman who sues Russell Sage for an injury sustained twenty-five years ago have been borne with much patience; but if she gets compound interest as well as real and con- structive damages we shall presently have to bury the dear old boy at public expense. Good gracious, how she must have suffered! DOGBERRY IN A SURPLICE, PRIEST says a woman has as much right to beat her husband as the husband has to beat his wife. This is so true that nobody has ever thought of disputing it. The justice is so unquestioned that the stupid is exasperating. When, therefore, there is a matrimonial fight of that kind let us hope that the priest will be on hand as the referee, and may heaven have mercy on his stupid soul. THE TARIFF—THE TARIFF! T IS NOT altogether silver that is troubling this country; it is uncer- tainty with regard to the tariff. Things were settled, and now they are not. Capital knew exactly what to do, and now it doesn’t. It will be some time before it can find out, and meanwhile no silver legislation will alleviate the uncertainty. Suppose you remember that along with your expectation that the extra session is capable of miracles. THE SAFER PROPHETS. A RAIGMAKER claimed to have produced a cloud-burst, and in consequence will have to stand two suits for damages, one brought by a farmer and one by a widow; so that if he repudiates the burst his profession is gone and if he claims it the prospect- ive damages are beyond calculation. Perhaps he is a little too ambitious. Let him confine his predictions to election failures and successes and he will be safe, the confiding public has got so used to them. LITTLE NATIONAL CON- QUESTS. A CONTEMPORARY suggests, speaking of France and Siam, that the former take somebody of her size. Obviously, however, that wouldn't york. Louis Napoleon tried it, and where are he and his government now? The kaiser’s army bill besides, repre- acts as a check to that kind of enterprise. Such countries as France and Italy must keep up their patriotism by practicing on smaller powers, and wait for larger ventures until they can get the larger powers to join them, or perhaps to order them. GROVER’S AMBITION. MB-CEEVELAND doesn’t want a third term, according to one author- ity, but he does want a third party. He would like to take the little mugwump rose, and, drawing from Republicans and Democrats alike, build a great garden of purity and beauty around it. It is a pretty plan, but one that never works well. If Andrew Johnson will kindly descend from his heavenly home and, fanning the perspiration from the brow of Grover with his refreshing wings, whispet in that gentleman's ear. for five minutes, there will be no further foolishness of that kind. THE IMPROPRIETIES, THE REV. PERCY S. GRANT wants to reform reform. He believes in the Rainsford proposition in behalf of Christian saloons, and pro- poses that the Christian associations include in their amusements pool, billiards and cards. It is hard to successfully mix things this way. We have been much impressed with the argument of the colored man who remarked, = “Stole dem breeches, but ‘twan't no Stole dem breeches to be baptize in,’ T tell you never to and again the colored man who opened and closed his chicken-ste with prayer meant well; but things that may be appropriate enough in themselves may be quite improper in connection with some other things. The song with respect to the star-spangled banner is a good song, but you don’t want to sing it at a funeral, comicbooks.com