Judge — July 29, 1893 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J. Ament. Bexwwaro Gian. TM. Guecony, Editor. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE One copy, one year, or sz numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months. or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy, for 13 weeks Las Including the Cnristmas FOREIGN. tien Juoce. SUBSCRIPTIONS— Teall for- tries in the postal wmion, $64 rear. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Junce BUILDING), Cor. Fifth Ave and 16th Street. New York FW We guaranter advertize cal paper published. on tham any other American satirt- venue de POpera, Paris, 2 at Saarbach's News Exchange, 27 NOTICE TO PI contents of Juoce are protected by copy: Fight in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted, BEWARE of evil associations and trolley cars. oe OEM ON MR, FLOPPER—He has a new wife every day, and Sun- days he has three. TH = MODERN SAVAGE has only women for victims; but, while he takes their hair, he kindly leaves the scalp. THE DEBASEMENT of silver has caused great rejoicing and com- mensurate ambition in the copper and lead family. EDISON PHONOGRAPH OROPINA NICKEL =RHAPS IT MAY be said of Dr. Flower that he really does doctor tments, and there are times when he kills them outright. en: gone to Eu- rope again, apprehension will im- mediately begin as to the sufferings he may have to endure on his return. ARTER Cc HARRISON having sworn on the sword of A. Jack- son to defend the flag, the arrival of the ‘enemy will now be awaited with great joy. GOVERNMENT of South Carolina sells all the liquor that is sold in that state. This is a political monopoly as profound and striking as the first gun on Sumter. I don't know. N HIS WAY to Buzzard’s bay Mr. Cleveland was for some hours lost in the fog, and couldn't have felt worse if he had been his be- loved country. R. GRESHAM is to resemble the late Mr. Blaine in his talking mannerisms; but Mr. Blaine greatly differed with him in having only one kind of politics. THE GOVERNOR of Illinois has the praise of every anarchist in the world, If he were not an anarchist he would therefore either kill himself or resign his office. THE EDITOR of the Rocky Mountain News wants the silver states to rise in rebellion and throw off the golden yoke. If this talk is silvern his silence would be beyond price. your ways. —Elmi PRAY. sie, what is there in the ten commandments about bicycles ? SOUTHERN JUSTICE. MOB entertained doubt as to whether a black man A SOUTHERN was guilty; so they hanged him before burning him at the stake. After his death it was found that he was innocent, and thereupon they THE CAUSE OF IT. Coronrr—"* What killed the man?” What tune have you in the machine?" Ta-ra-ra boom-de-ay.” congratulated themselves that they had tempered their judgment with mercy. AN IMPENDING DANGER. HE MORMONS are said to have raised a million dollars with which to buy statehood for Utah of the present congress. If that is so the situation is dangerous, for money is always handy and the senate needs more Democratic strength than it has now. But the party that indorses mormonism in this way, while it may save at the spigot, will assuredly lose at the bung-hole. A FINANCIER’S PERSONAL SECURITY. BROTHER SAGE is said to have made twenty thousand dollars a day on call loans for several days largely given to congestion of funds, It is calculated by one authority that he got interest at the rate of from fifty to seventy-three per cent., and there is no law against usury that can touch Wall street. It is not surprising, then, that Brother Sage should have used the young man Laidlaw as a protection against bombs. Such a financier as that cannot afford a premature death. The only wonder is that he doesn’t manage to have a dozen young men, more or less bomb- proof, about him every hour of every day. SIXTY MUZZLES. S!XTY EDITORS had at last accounts been given positions by this administration, The JUDGE gives them its congratulations, and be- lieves they deserve all they have won; but their readers are entitled only to commiseration if they look for honest political opinion in their news- papers. It is unavoidable that the opinion will be biased by personal con- siderations. “Muzzled” is the appropriate word for the situation; and E says this without designing to blame any editor who accepts office. The man cannot serve two masters, that is all, Editing and office-holding are as wide apart as the two poles. TOO MUCH PRESENCE OF MIND, [71S EXPLAINED that Admiral Tryon died, with his compatriots, of heterophomy, though it looked like acase of drowning. He gave one o7- der while he was intending to give an- other. Some would call it a matter of absence of mind, but the mind was there. It was too fully occupied—that was the trouble. The man ordered the effect when he should have con- templated merely the cause. It re- minds one of the case of the general who inadvertently ordered an advance when he intended a retreat. Such mis- takes are due to no lack of intelligence, but to the presence of too much of it. Still, whilesthis ameliorates the severity of judgment, it doesn’t alleviate the death-record any. He was listening to the phonograph THE LAST FRENCH SPASM. REVOLUTIONS IN PARIS are not, at this period, so much the spon- taneous as the manufactured article. All that is necessary to one is a corpse, and almost any kind of corpse will answer the purpose. A student or a ruffian of lower grade can make a revolution in five minutes. The design may be a remote one and have relation to some impending election. It may be a Boulangist, an Orleanist, or a communistic revolu- tion, or one without the dignity of a name; but it must occur at more or less regular intervals, otherwise Paris would not be Paris or France France. But the government lives, and having recovered from the Pana- ma business it will probably live a hundred years. PORK IN POLITICS. THIS IS A RESOLUTION adopted at a Democratic convention in Rice county, Kansas, a few days ago: Resolved, That we demand of the populists at the next election part of the hog which is to be killed, and that we must have of the aforesaid porker some part of the meat located back of the neck ; that we will not be content with jowls any longer, but must have either the shoulder of side bacon, Probably the intention of the resolution is to demand a fair share of the spoils in case of a fusion which shall result in success; but these gentle men are poets and would never consent to a plain statement of so painful a proposition. ‘Their delicacy is delicious, and really it may be hoped that they will secure the entire animal. comicbooks.com