Judge, 1893-07-22 · page 6 of 16
Judge — July 22, 1893 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* (a major American satirical weekly) contains multiple brief humor pieces typical of the publication's format. The main items mock contemporary social types and domestic situations: - "What He Wanted" satirizes hypocrisy: a man denounces dog-fighting as cruel, then immediately demands his wife find his lost key—revealing his moral posturing is selective. - "The Real Thing" is a sardonic epitaph mocking vanity: a vain woman spent life dyeing her appearance, but death ended her efforts permanently. - Domestic vignettes ("No Time to Lose," "Her Idea of It") use marital misunderstandings for humor—a husband worried about a burglar on the fire escape, a wife's "thoughtful" gift of suspenders with nails. - "My Sweetheart's Eyes" is sentimental verse about love's blindness. - Minor jokes reference the N.Y. Athletic Club and racing. The cartoons illustrate these brief humor pieces with period-appropriate line drawings. The satire targets bourgeois pretension, marital comedy, and the gap between professed values and actual behavior—standard *Judge* fare for the Gilded Age.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OVERHEARD AT STATEN ISLAND. Routine (of the N.Y. A. C)—"*Are you fond of athletics, Mr. Beedle?” Brepie (of Philadelphia) —"* Passionately. 1 beat Willie Castana four out of five games of checkers last week, and when I go back I've got two events with the dominoes to fight off. DREADFUL. MAN in Weehawken has a pair of twins that have to have everything told them when they are together because they are so much alike that they can’t be told apart. WHAT HE WANTED, Bingo —* Hello! here's a letter from Witherby saying there's going to be a dog-fight to-night at Pullem’s saloon. A dog-fight ! The idea. I wonder if he thinks I would lower myself by going to a low-down thing like that. It makes my blood boil to think of such cruelty. Now, 1 wonder "- Mrs. Bingo— looking for, my deai Bingo—* Where in thunder is my latch-key 2” “What are you MY SWEETHEART’S EYES. MY SWEETHEART'S eyes, to me, are blue, And hold all gleams of heaven's soft hue; Some folks describe them “* common: \ place,” ‘ And with a somewhat droll grimace Suggest that love sces things askew. T wonder if that isn’t trae? Because when others come to woo, Through emerald tints I vaguely trace My sweetheart’s eyes. T used to swear by eyes I knew Some time ago, and I may view Still other eyes which will efface My fancy from this witching brace ; It's all the same, for they'll be, too, Portrait of the man who My sveethearr’s jee always has a “winning sys- tem" on the races, REGINA ARMSTRONG, JUDGE EPITAPH. BENEATH this grass Lies Mary Jane; She was, alas ! A creature vain. THE REAL THING, Ske dyed her cheeks, she dyed her hair, Her neck—it shone like china ware ; Of dyes she had a plen- teous store, But now she’s dead she'll die no more. PROOF. 6¢6]S THAT man a real actor?” “Yes, indeed— when he's off the stage.” NO TIME TO LOSE. Wife—" Dear, there is a burglar down- stairs.” Husband—"Are you sure he is in the house? Wife—"Yes; 1 can sce his lantern.” Husband (rushing for the window) — “Maria, this fire -es- cape will, not hold two.” HE HAS A SCIATIC NERVE. Tape Pullman—"You say that old Grumble never pretends to operate upon his judgment. What basis has he, then, for his uniformly successful speculations ?” Ladd Styme—* He works, as he tells me, upon the feeling in his bones.”* HER IDEA OF IT. Mrs. Youngbride— See what I have got you, darling—a nice new pair of suspenders.” Mr. Youngbride— How thoughtful of my little turtle-dove!” Mrs. Youngbride— And that is not all, either. Here are some nice new nails to go with them.” vay NO PARTIALITY. SmiTit—'* Say, neighbor, I don’t want all your old cans and boots and things thrown o my yard.” jones—"* You haven't got ‘em all ; T divided equally with my neighbor on the comicbooks.com