Judge — July 8, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE BUSY PEOPLE. He—"My dear, I've been so busy for a week that I act- ually have not had time to cut EFFECT OF THE GEARY LAW. my finger- OUN CHINAMAN takes his revenge nails.” On this unhappy nation She—"And By loading up each little boy I haven't had mean retaliation, time to let Ob, what an ugly powder-packer mine grow.” This pig-tail with his fire-cracker ! EXCELSIOR, ON A GOAT. HE 700K his powder—itte foot— ERE lies the body of poor Nan; And placed it near the fire; Death came within a minute. Now, like the brightest boy in school, She monkeyed with an old tin can Young Tommy has gone higher. And found a cracker in it. VERY EARLY. Tutter —" | expect, Miss Pinkerly, this. be- ing the glorious fourth, that your younger brother woke you up pretty early this morning.” Miss Pinkerly —"Nes, indeed, Mr. Tutter.. QN THE MIDWAY PLAISANCE, WORLD'S FAIR. He began celebrating only a few minutes after Worb's-FAIR POLICEMAN — “* Where are you delivering that you had ice toat this time o” night?” Iceman —"' Shure, an it’s, to the Eskermaw village. How can the poor craythurs shlape till I bring thim their pillers?” is always wishing for the fourth ; so is the poker-player who has three aces. ‘The agnostic is like a sky-rocket;.it doesn’t do him any. good to direct his shafts toward heaven. ney The fourth of July lays low many a youngster, but, strange.to say, he doesn’t bear it any grudge. eae There is more powder on’ some women’s faces thant there’ isin some of the cheap fireworks the dealers sell us, < . Sf There is a:great deal of noise on the fourth, but, there is more ift the commencement-day orations which precede it. Some ‘fire-crackers are like some lovers who, stay late, says a young lady; 'we want them to go off, but they do not, 5" The fourth is particularly commended to cigaf-lovers wlio haven't the maney to pay for a weed; then they may enjoy lots of smoke. Iflyou'go to the races on the fourth ‘you will miss. the cannonade in the city, but you may run across a long shot or two anyhow. wo. te PLENTY OF FUN AHEAD. Tenson—"1 don't expect to give you any fire-crackers this year, Harold, for 1 don’t altogether approve of them. But I want you to have aigood time on the fourth. Have you any plan?” “ Harold—"Yes, sir. 1am going to invite the little boy next door to spend the day with me, He has a whole slew of crackers.” Tenson —“1 don’t see what that has to do with your pleasure.” Harold—"1 can lick him.” SHE WAS JUST RIGHT, Mrs, Frecan—"'Is it six yit, Jamesey ?* Jamasey —" Tei, ant half past.” fa Mrs, FRecaN—"“An’ yure ther not home. ‘Tin to wan he's gittin’ dissi- pated agin. ROMAN CANDLES. MOST boys are patriots for fireworks only. The fireworks that splutter most do not make the most noise. Every year boasts its Independence day; the henpecked. husband never boasts his. . A bomb generally goes off, but the tramp is a bum of another sort; he just lies down. One must not mourn the loss of a hand or an eye, considering that the country is safe. Many a spark causesa fire,and much heart- burning 44s. the result of too 7 much sparking. THE PATENT UNSNATCHABLE POCKET-BOOK. Thesmall boy Miss Graxpor —"* I'm glad you've got it, my friend, Now, let's go over SPORTING NOTES. to the station-house together.” comicbooks.com