Judge, 1893-07-01 · page 4 of 17
Judge — July 1, 1893 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical sketches typical of Judge magazine's humor format: **"Unintentional Rudeness"**: An architect accidentally insults Mrs. Hollister by discussing floor measurements while being introduced to her—missing social cues while focused on work details. **"A Schemer"**: Brown manipulates Jones by promising club dinner, then asks to borrow money and invites himself that same night instead, exposing scheming social climbers. **"The Acme"**: Contrasts Helen Harker marrying a poker player versus a man who *thinks* he plays poker—suggesting delusional incompetence is worse than actual vice. **"Safe Place"** and **"A Hypothecated Lunch"**: Police and safety humor depicting urban chaos. **"Not She Alone!"** and **"Transferred"**: Satirize gender double standards and absent-minded husbands who lose coat buttons to their children. **"Paradise Lost"**: A couple on a gondola in Venice realizes they've spent their money ("gone dollar"), losing their romantic fantasy. The humor relies on wordplay, social observation, and period anxieties about money, propriety, and domestic life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CONSOLATION. YE: WHO wait delaying sailors, Do not with impatience burn! ‘They who're bred upon the waters After many days return, A SCHEMER. Brown —1 say, old man, as soon as'I pay my house-account I want you to come up to the club and dine with me some evening.” __ Jones —" Thanks. I'd enjoy it. Brown "All right—T've got an idea, Lend me the money now and come up to-night.” THE ACME, Mrs. Blenkensop —"Isn't it awful? Helen Harker has mar- ried a man that plays poker.” Mr. Blenkensop—" Might have done worse. Might have married a man who thinks he can play poker.” AFE PLACE, harmed, I assure you, madam, UNINTENTIONAL RUDENESS. Mr. Houtister —" You haven't met Mrs. Hollister, I believe ?” Mr. Leurze (his architect) two by twelve, as the plan shows.” A HYPOTHECATED LUNCH, EXxcitep citizex —"* Say, there's a big fight going on round the corner!” PoLiceman —"* Well, you stay here wid me an’ you won't be in it.” Mus. GRocan (as Fakey’s goat strotts by)—"* Howly saints! Jimmy, run quick ! Some bad luck 's kim to yure ould man.” Pardon me, (70 the foreman)—Gallison, make those floor-beams four by sixteen instead of NOT SHE ALONE! WHEN Gossip speaks of scandal With relish in his face He never fails to mention ‘That ‘a woman's in the case”; But seemeth quite unconscious OF nature's equal plan Which puts no woman in a case ‘That hasn't any man, BUNS, GHORGE ARCHIBALD. TRANSFERRED. Teacher —* Willie, does your mother know that the buttons are off your coat ?” Willie—"Yes'm, and she knows where they are too.” Teacher —“ Where are they ?” Willie—“ They are on father's trousers.” PARADISE LOST. A GREEN pair and an apple sour— ‘An Eden squandered in an hour. Sue —" So that's a gondola?” He It’s a gone dollar,” comicbooks.com