Judge — June 3, 1893 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE BEST OF IT. FLakaway Joxes—"* Look heah! dat coat look mighty like de one Colonel Ledpepper done promise me. Tuomas JeFFERSON—" Well, sah, "spose it do? Ain't de colonel herd dat I done gwine t' marry wif dat yaller gal Cicely? Doan’ yo" "spose he wan’ t' promulgate de ‘ficiousness ob de ‘cashun wif a present Fiakaway Jongs—' But, yo’ big brack nigger! I'se gwine t marry wif dat gal mysel ‘THOMAS JEFFERSON—" Mebbe yo' is. But I’se got de coat.” AT THE LITESTEIN WEDDING-RECEPTION, Ong oF THE GuESTs—** Look here, Litestein, aren't those diamonds in the bride’s ears the ones I pawned with you yesterday 7” Lrrestein—"t'S.s-sh! Yaas. I lets her vear dem so no moths geds in dem. She gifs dem pack all righd.” SELF-EVIDENT. SeTHE United States senate isn't what it used to be,” said Hawkins, “The days of Seward and Webster are gone.” “Of course they have,” said Phillips, “You wouldn't have had those days preserved in alcohol, would you?” LUXURY IN THE COAL-YARD. First tramp—" Xi, Bill! you're lyin’ on anthra- cite.” Second tramp—"1 know it. What's wrong?” First tramp—" Well, come over here. I've just struck a lot of soft coal.” SHOVING THE QUEER. Shure, Mrs, Brady, but phwhat a shame thot th’ darlint should be so uncom- i i'm sorry fur yez, ‘pon me wur-rd.”” Boggs. Wasn't it jist yisterday thot me husband, phwhat's a perlice-officer an’ a gintleman, tould me thot you’se had betther kape aff th’ shtrates wid yer mangled-face brat or you'se would be taken in fer shovin’ th’ queer. KILL IT SOME MORE. A WRITER for the Contributors’ clab of the Addantic says it is time to drop the “Esquire” in addressing gentlemen by letter. The word in that connection has been dead at least ten years, and ought to be revived and killed again. EXPLAINING KINSHIP. Curly Cuero—"Yes, sit-ree! Jake Hogwaliow was about the meanest skunk we ever had in Texas, barring his cousin once removed.” Jim Waco—* What do you mean by ‘his cousin once removed Curly Cuero—" Taken out of jail and strung up for horse-stealing.’ THE TERRIBLE ALTERNATIVE, Grover—" How is everything this morning, Mr. Thurber?” Thurber—\ don't know. It doesn’t seem to me that I shall like this job.” Grover—" Well, if you give it up you will have to go back to Michigan, won't you?” Thurber (resignedly)—" I'll stay.” THE HOOP IN AFRICA. “* What—what—what "—— Queen Gaxrso—'' It is the very latest, dear, And so cool and comfortable !" comicbooks.com