Judge — May 27, 1893 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J. Amwett. LM. Barxuaro Gritan |. Gaacory Editor. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA, I ADVANCE ‘One copy, one year, or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months. or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy. for 13 weeks - = = a.as Including the Cumrstsas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—Toall for- ign countries im the postal union, ‘$64 year. THE JUDO PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupcE BUILDING), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York. BT We guarantee advertisers a larger circulation than any other American satirt- eal paper published. The Joan is for sale ab Brentane' Cou 25 Newcastle street, Strand, Ls Mains, Germany, and oy C Cable addren—" Juponaen.” Paris: Smith, Ainslee $27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- right in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. Pustic OFFICE is a private trust.— Richard Olney. THE THING called Cleveland weather was exhausted with Grover's first administration. ‘O MR. GILROY—Say, Thomas! why don’t you appoint an Irishman to office occasionally ? TO CERTAIN CONVICTS—Do not shoot the guards. They are doing as well as they can. THE FINEST PART of the world’s fair is Chicago. Nothing can equal Chicago but Chicago. T WILL be necessary to twist the nose of the governor of Oregon in order to. show him the value of good manners. M*- CLE in av LAND doesn’t speak ice of thunder, but when- ever he opens his mouth for-a speech there is a soaking rain, cee A WRITER in the Commercial Ad- vertiser says that all successful men are abdominal men. We, too, have noticed this. Large or small? 4 i EMAN— E BEG. to correct the statement that Mr. Carter spoke forty years for the United States and the seals. It was forty hours. Pore E KNOW of only one corset that is better than the short corset now in vogue, and that is the corset that is no Corset at all. ss YOU CAN TRUST your happiness with a woman who laughs,” says awiseacre. Yes, indeed; and peradventure with a woman who doesn’t. HE OATHS of Warden Brown were numerous but not zsthetic; and as to his inebriety it was so coarse as to disgust his subordinates and his fellow-conviets. MR PLATT apparently has as little respect for John Sherman as John Sherman has for him; and certainly Mr. Platt couldn't go further than that by any process of locomotion now known. HE POPE three shakes. refused to let the kaiser kiss his hand, but gave the hand Did his reverence propose to be reticent and offish, or te? The world is discussing this question with the dismal prospect of going mad THE JUDGE calls particular attention to its monthly issue for June bearing the title “On and Off the Wheel.” It is one of the hand- cordial and considet A DISAGREEABLE CONTRIBUTION, What's the trouble, Dutchy?” Mx. MAN—" Dot fool olt lady yoost tropped an oranche down meif tuba unt I gan’t ged him oud.” somest and wittiest issues of this very popular monthly, and its illustra- tions are funny enough to make a pneumatic tire burst with laughter. IT HURTS HIS MODESTY. WHEN A MAN has been called “a hustler" he feels that there is * nothing left to live for in this world, or any other world. It is the acme and ecstasy of compliment, no matter if the term is applied to every lop-eared, ugly-mugged loafer of rapidity in every town. What the man wants is just to lie down and die, trusting, of course, that the word will be a part of his epitaph. WHEN THEY SKIPPED THE GROWLER. AGES HENCE the world will be inquiring with eager anxiety what Mr. Schurz would have said if he had made that speech. The question regarding Junius, the matter of the missing link, the accuracy of the theory of the late Mr. Symmes, the mystery of the lady and the tiger, will be as nothing compared with the solution of that great problem. And it is fortunate for the immortality of Mr. Schurz that it is so, for if he had said it it must inevitably have fallen as flat as a pint of dish-water in the middle of the desert of Sahara. THE ROAD TO SOCIAL GLORY. THE .SOCIETY PAPERS of London persist in mentioning William Waldorf Astor as a man in trade—a millionaire, but a low-down, common chap who pays his debts, deals in real estate, collects rents, and amuses himself by publishing a magazine. As Mr. Astor ruminates in his recently- purchased castle these things doubtless worry him to some extent; but there will be surcease of his sorrow as soon as he begins to lend money without security to blooded pov- erty and the finer article of inherited impecuniosity. But really he must go on the turf and dishonor a few blooded women, SEX AND PSYCHOLOGY. THE WORSHIP of a noted pianist by young and old women created an exhibition in this city that one reads of with astonishment. The women languished for him, made eyes at him, tried to force their way into his dress- ing-room, glared jealously at one an- other, and would have crushed him had he not got away from their em- braces. Was it music or the man that brought about this exhibition? Was it a combination of the two? Was it his hair? And if they had got possession of him would they have killed him with the fierce passion of their love and jeal- ousy, like so many untamed tigresses ? THE AWFUL PROPRIETIES. HE INFANTA EULALIA will not travel with the duke of Ve- ragua because the etiquette of her country will not permit it; and when a ion was made to Governor Flower to take him to the duke he “Iam the governor of New York, and the duke must come to me.” All this was proper enough, and there is as much red tape in our society as in that of Europe. Asa sentiment the proposition that all: men are created equal is well enough, but as a fact it has its weakness. Americans make their equality after birth or they don’t have it, and on the other hand birth makes equality in Europe if the person doesn't deserve it. Most Americans are severe with the princess because of her assumed superiority to the duke, but after all is there any American who doesn’t applaud Governor Flower for his? SOME INTEMPERATE TEMPERANCE. LADY BIDDULPH and some other Indies of the British women's temperance association are in earnest and wordy opposition to Lady Somerset and Frances Willard as to whether politics shall be permitted in the organization mentioned, and the latter have won a temporary victory. The persistent, voiceful, and uncontrollable differences of organizations of and for women are deplorable. There are nine different societies with the plain and simple design of accomplishing woman suffrage, and each is as bitter as wormwood against all the others. Surely there ought to be harmony as to the temperance business; and if the leaders of the several organizations of that kind will get together, with a few cigarettes, a little wine and a disposition to conciliate, we feel sure that they will presently act on a common platform and that not a life nor a reputation will be lost. comicbooks.com