Judge — May 13, 1893 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

aan TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA. IN ADVANCE One copy, one year, or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - £30 One copy. for 13 weexs = nas Including the Cwmstuas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—Toall for- ‘ign countries in the pottal union. a year. THE JuDoE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JuDGE BUILDING). Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York. Besxwaro Gnas. Gxrcony Aditer. (W-We guarantee advertisers a larger circulation than any other American satirt eal paper published.” The Jovx is for sale at Brentano's, 17 Avenue del Opera. Paris ith, Ainslee & Co 25 Newcastle street, Strand, London. England: at Saarbach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany. and by Ch. F, Alioth, Geneva, Switserl Cable addresi—" JUDGEARK.” $27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- right in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. ‘O BE STRICTLY in tone aman must be tattooed—not necessarily for publication, but as an evidence of good blood. oe ‘THE BELGIAN DEPUTIES came down to the demands of the popu- lace as gracefully as King John to the magna charta. OBBY LINCOLN is on the flag of the Lockport Journal tor president in 1896. The affection that is hasty and indiscreet is un- fortunate. . ‘THOSE WOMEN who are danc- ing on three and four legs are freaks which only the dime mu- seum ought to tolerate. A false leg is as mean as a bad lie WE BOW DOWN and worship the law as a matter of neces- sity; but think what it is to wor- ship a thing born of Sneak Sheehan and christened by Governor Flower. o. RS. MAYBRICK has again irritated and outraged English law, besides interrupting the com- fort of the English bench, The miserable wretch has tried to kill herself. THE JURY in the case of the prize-fighter killed in the ring says he died of “protracted physic- al exercise,” it being admitted, we suppose, that the knocker-out did the exercising. Parsey— i'll tek tis’ roof aff yez wid me cudgel.” RICHARD OLNEY as attorney-general and the counsel of several corporations, or trusts, is a fine syndicate all alone by himself, and as an anomaly he ought to go on exhibition. THE DIGNITY of an ambassador is awfully impressive. It has already rounded the shoulders of Mr. Bayard, and increased his deafness so that he can’t hear from his regular correspondents. A WORLD'S-FAIR BUREAU has been organized by the Chicago Inter-Ocean which will insure any visitor to the fair a comfortable boarding- and lodging-place. All the visitor has to do is to be a sub- scriber to the JUDGE and write or apply to this paper for a coupon en- titling him to the privileges and the obvious safety and convenience therein involved. ee FULL DRESS. T A PARTY in honor of the duke of Veragua the duke remarked. scanning the company critically, “I find the ladies attired somewhat as my predecessor found their predecessors attired;" and after seeing a skirt-dance, and subsequently a four-legged one, he added, “ The resem- blance becomes more striking the longer I remain.” ON PAPA'S KNEE. Orricer Donavax—" Now say yure little lisson an’ shkip up t’ bed." Move an out o' thot, yez lob-sided jay ava Jersey pirate, ‘r Orricer Donavan—" Yer dar-rlin’! day he shows a hair in his mustach, Julie.” BLOOD ALWAYS TELLS. THE INCOME of the duke of Veragua is seventy-five thousand dollars a year, and he makes that amount by raising bulls for the Spanish arena. It is to be lamented, of course, that his grace has not money enough to live without making any money. at all; but it is comforting to reflect that, so far from being a mere plebeian tradesman, he is a proud and far-seeing raiser of blooded bulls. THE EXPERTS. ‘THE MEDICAL EXPERTS tel us that a certain woman died of two kinds of poison, and again that she died a natural death; and here comes a French expert in electricity with the statement that no man has died in the electrical chair, but that the victims of the chair have been shocked to insensibility and subsequently killed in the process of dissec- tion, Let us pause, but let us not reflect. ‘The more we consider these things the nearer we are to the conclusion that nobody knows anything about them. THE INHERITED HONOR. THE JUDGE does not agree with the Mai? and Express in the opinion that the action of the president with regard to Robert Lincoln and Fred Grant was despicable. There are thousands of men as able and as worthy as Lincoln and Grant who have never had office, and they have a right to their turns. If offices are to be held for particular families through generations we shall get back to the English inheritance idea; and again Mr. Lincoln appears to have thought that his continuance in place would be somewhat humiliating. A BLUE-EYED ROBBER. THE VILLAINY of Billy Sheehan is gently mentioned as a politi- cal impropriety; but on the sea it would be called piracy, and as an unofficial matter of highway rob- bery it would send Mr. Sheehan to the penitentiary. We are too toler- ant of the thief who steals the will, the rights and the property of the people, though that is the very height and depth of robbery, having more danger and deviltry in it than is within the ken or power of any professional burglar or murderer. It may be suspected, however, that, let this blue-eyed person rob Buffalo as he may, he cannot rob the United States; at least that is what Mr. Cleveland thinks. BROTHER TALMAGE. CHURCH DEBT is evidence in the mind of the Troy Press that Talmage and his method of preaching are declining. It may be observed, too, that the failure of Brother Ingalls’s bark shows that the public is sick and tired of the United States treasury. There are twenty-nine causes for every effect, and if they are traced back it may be found that they multiply with the fecundity of grasses and thistles. Brother Talmage thinks he knows more about heaven than do the angels, but his bank-books for thirty years show a health and rotundity that can be sneered at only by persons who believe thoroughly in the stupidity of many millions of people for all that length of time. THE SNOB WHO LABORS. HE CHIEF ORIGINATOR of the Bradley-Martins was a cooper, and some newspapers mention the fact with an obvious shrug of contempt, quite as if they were contemptuous of the labor necessary to produce their daily and weekly issues, or as if wealth ought to be ashamed of the beginning of all accumulation. The Bradley-Martins took some pains to explain to the customs officers and protest against certain cus- toms charges, and they are therefore charged with penuriousness; whereas if they hadn't done so they would have been ridiculed for an ostentatious indifference to money. It was little curious to import an earl that a marriage might be consummated here instead of in Scotland; but the curious | things of lesser marriages are beyond number, and the money distributed in New York in connection with the Martin-Craven affair was considerable. A good many critics are more snobbish than the snobs to whom they give their too alert and anxious attention ; and after all the rich have some right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We'll hov him an th’ foorce th’ comicbooks.com