Judge — May 13, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

304 pos THE PARABLE OF THE FOOL CRAB. r HERE was once a crab of immense size, whose eyes bulged out with overweening pride and who disported gy himself about on one of his rear corners and clicked together his nippers with great animation, But the QD gray matter of his cerebrum was exceeding small. And it came to pass, in time, that the internal economy of this crab swelled to an exceeding bigness and there was turmoil and agitation within his carapace. And lo! when many days had passed, this crab said within himself, “Truly | have grown too big for this shell and I will everlastingly bust it and cast it off; for, verily, what do I need of protection any way? And why should I build up a Chinese wall between me and my neighbors? And, moreover, it does not agree with my constitution. ‘Therefore will I summon up my strength and split it up the back and hang it on the fence, for it is an abomination in my eyes.” ‘And it came to pass that when the ides of November had come this crab bethought him of his purpose, as he had promised, and he busted his carapace from stem to stern, IN A NUTSHELL, * Mrs. Candour intimated the other night that your hair was not your own.” is false!" at's what she said.” And it came to pass that after he had divested himself of his protection he 7, ‘ y = om S according to his vow, and he pulled himself out of the rent therein. eth Wl Y said within himself, “ Ha, ha! this isa soft snap.” But verily, as it proved, there Habs was too little snap and too much of softness, And he said within himself, “I SZ am not feeling at all well,” and he crawled under the grateful shelter of some f / grasses which grew near by, thankful for the insufficient protection they afforded ° for his body. Now when some time had passed the crab bethought him of his former Mes Monee Fact ae acne raat abcd oe his excellent Comaition. when he was well protected and business was booming, and a feel, pasa ing of sorrow and regret came over him for his unprotected state, ‘“Alas,”” he said, “that I should have hung up my overcoat just as the cold weather was setting in!” And when the morning and the evening of that day had come he revolved within himself, how he should better his condition, and he discoursed to himself bitterly and blamed it on the mugwumps; and he cried out in bitterness of spirit, “Durn the constitution any way! Great Scott! shall I not take on an- other shell forthwith for my better protection? Verily yea, for I have changed my mind about this mat- ter.” And forthwith he incased himself in another carapace which was like unto the first, even as two peas are like each to the other. And it came to pass that when this transformation was completed, lo! the eyes of this crab bulged out again with pride as before, and he pirouetted again on his rear corner with animation and clicked together his nippers as aforetime; for of a truth he was mighty glad to get back again to a business basis, CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER WHISKERS. Lived to th And died « EQUAL TO THE EMERGENCY. Dut the aggregate of gray mat- Gasrarp pu NorwALke—"All is lost ! but, thank ter in the cerebrum of this crab was hea.a-aven! one last resort is left me. I will climb the . ' steep and gloomy heights of Dongenberg and throw (as the lashings of another drop-scene give way and exceeding small all the same. meself from th’ battlements of Castle Norwalke into the oN On the run) Farmer: Dingleberry s sell MENRY CONNETT. black depths of — THE BURNING MATCH AND THE FUNNY STORY, comicbooks.com