Judge — April 29, 1893 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wiage. W. J. Anemia. , LM. Braxwaro Gian. sony Editor, TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA, IN| ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or s2 numbers - $3.00 One copy, six months. or 26 numbers - =.s0 One copy. for 3 weexs = 33 Tacluding the Cnmstoas Jupae. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—Toall for- ‘ign countries in the pottal union, $6.0 year, THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BunLDING). Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York. (W-W’e guarantee advertisers a larger circulation than any other American satire cal paper published. The Juocn is for sale at Brentane's, 17 Avenue de Opera, Paris: Smith, Ainsice & Co, 25 Newcastle street, Strand, London, England: at Saarback's News Exchange, Maine, Gi cand 69 ChE, Alioth, Geneva, Switzerland. DGRAWK. $27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Junce are protected by cop: right in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. LESSED IS THE MAN who is dead, for he doesn’t have to move on the first of May. HE OFFICE KER who fails to find at least has the satisfac- tion of knowing that he preserves his character. UDGE JACKSON having delivered an opinion against state sovereignty, per- haps the country is safe after all. R. CLEVELAND has been elected queen of the May several times, but Judge Gresham must take the honor this time. HE POPULISTS of Kansas have had their day, and recent local elections show that they have reached about eleven o'clock. CICAGO js not esthetic. We firmly believe she elects Carter Harrison for her Columbian mayor on the strength of his record as the wickedest man. SSE HAVE no more need of an mbassador than of an emperor,” says the Rochester Post-Express. Well, good gractous! haven't we an emperor? SiG ive CLEVELAND rope enough,” says Senator Hil nd he will hang himself.” Something in that. We Mi DeAGAR* Pretace certainly know that he is a good execu- Mrs, DeaGaN—" Hush, hush' Up 1’ th’ Bleeckers, phere BOUND TO BE OFFICE-FILLING. THE BURDEN of the appointing: power is oppressive; but Grover likes it so well that he relieves Gresham and Carlisle almost entirely of their share of it, and in fact leaves them as little authority as if they were not there. The president likes to groan, but he is extremely fond of hard work. NEWNESS. NEW BIBLE is called the Oahspe bible, and one of the objects of the believers in it is to reclaim abandoned children. They will also found acolony in New Mexico, which, suggestively enough, is believed to be the new Canaan of the Mormons. Of the making of new faiths and new bibles there appears to be no end; and indeed, in view of certain designs with regard to New Mexico, the same may be said of new states. THE KANSAS EXPERIMENT. RS. POTTER ran for mayor of Kansas City and got forty votes. Of these forty only five were cast by women, though thirty-six hundred women voted. Women have not that faith in each other that men have in them, They lack affection and appreciation and run rapidly to prejudice and jealousy. When women vote as freely as men do no woman will be elected to office, and heaven preserve the woman candidate's character until the end of the campaign. A DESERVING CLASS. WEALTHY LADY married her coachman, and being satisfied with that experience presently married him again, and then sent him to college. The world gets a great deal of amusement out of wealthy old ladies who are eligible for matrimony. The young man finds in them his opportunity, and the lawyers get rich from their eccentric generosity. Perhaps they are not the ob- jects of excessive admiration, but they are better citizens than the male miser whose money does neither himself nor anybody else any good OUR AWFUL DEPRAVITY. = TRUST that Governor Flower will adhere to his intention to pre- vent the Corbett-Mitchell fight. It must inevitably be a shocking exhibition, even if no blood is shed and the Englishman exhausts himself by running away. At the same time, the country is lamentably wide and there are other states than New York; and if there must be a fight we feel sure that the governor will be glad to accept a disguise and a private box. At least several other distinguished persons will; and, merciful heaven! the news of the fight will be eagerly read the morning after it occurs by about sixty million peo- ple in this country alone. EPICUREAN, Ouch! me nose !* WAR WITHOUT WAR. tioner. Oi've been washin’, they do bur-rn their earphy wid ivery male.” RMY-CLOTHING that is bullet-proof EVERYBODY wishes Mr Bayard well. May good digestion wait on his appetite and health on both, and may the tails of his dress-coat sweep the floor when Pat Collins isn’t present to step on the.n. STANLEY WATERLOO of Chicago has written a very interesting novel showing the fallacy of protection, and if he will kindly give it away he will establish the fact that he is a thorough believer in free trade. HIE BEST THING about the New York legislature is that the major= ity quarreled among themselves sufficiently to protect the state to some slight degree. A Democratic majority that will do that is not en- tirely bad. ME: CHILDS of the Philadelphia Ledger declares that Mr. Cleveland will never listen to a proposition for a third term. Sometimes we recover from these delusions. He said he would never listen to a propo- sition for a second. ARGUMENT as to the Bering sea will probably cost more than the seals involved are worth, but England and this government are rich. It began with the creation of the world. continued to the production of the lizard, and has now reached the component parts of the liquid called water. 1s the latest achievement. This is a great improvement on long-distance guns and smokeless powder. though it makes the science of war ridiculous. Let us now have noise- less and harmless munitions of war and the barbarism of civilization will be pretty nearly abolished. Finally we can dispense with armies except for ornamental purposes, and several millions of men may be permitted to earn their own living and contribute something to the value of the world they live in, Let the mon thot chewed thot ate it,” was Paddy's conclusion with regard to hash; and let us let the men that make wars fight them out, and the devil take the hindmost. THE UNHAPPIEST ISLAND. OME CUBANS contemplate the capture of their island, making this country their base of supplies, and other Cubans, residing in Cuba. propose an uprising against their Spanish rulers. They must be chided with the utmost earnestness because they will be guilty of a useless sacrifice of life. Only governments have the right to make war and kill people, and it is seldom indeed that revolutionists are vindicated by suc- cess. Our experiment in that line a hundred years ago was a dispensation of divine Providence; and Cubans fought seven years, not long since. without the first assurance that Providence was within cannon-shot of them, Doubtless they were right, but right is might in only exceptional cases. comicbooks.com