Judge — April 22, 1893 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DISCOURAGING. AGENT (0f the S. P. C. A.\—"‘| trust our branch society in this town is flourishing 7° Deacon Ittis—* Wonderfully, sir, ‘There ain't a man, woman or child here but what belongs to it. CHorvs—"* Down t’ see Gib Burrows kill his pig.” POPULAR FALLACIES. HAT matrimony and poker are aggravated evils, That whist is a more abstruse game than politics, That undertakers do not find pleasure in their work. That a soft bed ameliorates the affliction of poverty. That food tastes better if served on Dresden ware. That an ode cannot be written around a buckwheat cake. That ministers of the gospel never suffer from nightmare. 2Sriae That high-kickers are interested in the poetry of motion. That Jove and all the other gods dearly love a mackintosh. That wives experience more joy in ac- cepting pin-money than alimony. That ambitious men bother about the amount of gray matter in their brains. That the click of the typewriter is not as bad as the voice of the hand-organ. That a boomerang is as dangerous as a bean-shooter in the hands of a small boy. ‘UNM TRANSFERRED SWEETNESS. Borzy —"* Looks as if that mustache of yours had been fooling with a live wire, my bo} DILLeNpack —*' Worse than that. Mrs. Haddem just AN UNFORTUNATE WRETCH. ‘This: man was clubbed nearly to death by a copper who mistook him for a thief — That a tramp is more of a nuisance than the man who al- ways wants a check cashed. That a superstitious man would not pick up thirteen dol- lars if he saw them on the side- walk. That it isn't cruel to keep up.the jokes aimed at the goat just because he isn’t intelligent enough td understand them. NATHAN M. LEVY AN OPPORTUNITY LOST. +4] MSO sorry we didn’t en- gage M. Eiffel to build a tower for the fair,” said one Chicago man to another. “ But see this Panama scan- dal he’s got into.” “True enough. That's just what I mean. See what a (To the children.) Where are you going, little ones?” THE KALSOMINE MAN. WHEN spring is'upon us in verdant array, ‘And lambs and young children and whirl- winds are gay, A shadow flits over life's frolicsome plan— The kalsomine man! As day follows night, and the seasons succeed Each other in rhythmical, well-ordered speed, Behold the white trousers and brush in their van— The kalsomine man! Nor storms nor afflictions affect him one whit ; Bot, planting his ladder and mounting on it, He scatters disaster as far as he can— ‘The kalsomine man ! Our sleeves are washed blue on an indigo wall, Our back a'chrome yellow—the shade of the hall, While: our head is frescoed with all tints of his can— The kalsomine man! Oh, give us the winter to chatter and freeze ! Or summer to fight flies, mosquitoes and fleas ; But let us escape—oh, ye gods '—if you can— Spring's kalsomine man ! RRLLE HUNT. ageanene Whee ——and the very day he was able to be out again he was insisted on my kissing her new baby, and the little wretch had SPlendid advertisement it would requested to subscribe ten dollars to the policemen’s benefit been feeding on molasses candy.” have been for the fair.” ball comicbooks.com