Judge — April 22, 1893 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J. Amemit. Brawwano Gian . Mt iter. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. ONITRD STATES AND CAKADA. IN ADVANCE One copy, one year, or sa numbers - $5.0 One copy, six months. or 26 numbers - =.:0 One copy: forty weexs = nas Inclading the Cuuistuas Juoce. PTIONS—Teall for~ the postal union, THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Juvce BuILDING). Cor. Fifth Avi rantee advertizers a ‘ion than any other American satir ‘hed. del Opera, Paris: Smith, Ainsice & im, Encland: at Saarbach's News Exchange, 4 by Ch. F, Alieth, Geneva, Switserland. Juvamanx. $2 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Junce are protected by cn right in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. C. ENO is legally so innocent that he ought to sue the city and collect heavy damages. oe THERE IS ROOM enough in this world for the crinoline, but we do not want its company. KIRBY SMITH goes to his long home just in time to save him- self from a foreign mission nearer by. ard OLAPUK being dead, the men who elected Mr. Cleveland can swear in only one language at one time. THE ALBANY “ARGUS” in the hands of the Hillmen shows again how David B. goes on with his dying HE * TIMES" was out of joint jag, oh, happy plight! that Miller and [were born to set it right — George F. Spinney. A NUMBER of cranks have tried to get at Grover, but the luck of that man is so pronounced the wonder is that they got away alive. HEN MR. CROKER says und py.” gently “School is out” the boys at Albany scatter as quickly as if there haven't been funerals enough to make a decent vacation. . [7 ISA MIGHTY mean thing to refuse a man an office merely because he is a relative of the appointing power. Why not goa little further and hang him ? THE MORMONS and all the other Democrats want New Mexico to become a state, and when it goes the last state will be found to be worse than the first. But FOR THE APPLE, says a woman, “man would be simply a sunburnt loafer.” Let us remark with peculiar confidence that he would be that or nothing. NOTED COUNTERFEITER died the other day without a dollar to his name and nothing but a bad cough; and yet he had made hun- dreds of thousands of dollars. THE PROMPT resignation of Robert Lincoln was characteristic, but we do hope nobody will begin to run him for president. The papa- and-son business has gone far enoug! see T FIRST GLANCE fourteen years would seem to be a long enough time to outlaw the defalcation of Senator Roach; but he has never done penance or suffered punishment, and it may at least be hoped that he will never be president. Id vos embdy, Abe.” Ecxstein—" Neffer mindt. Der air in it vos goot t' shmell ohf py ¢verybody else. Oh, let us stiffen DRESS AND THE ’DOXIES. CLERGYMAN in Connecticut insisted on wearing a dress suit in bis pulpit, and has therefore been dismissed without the benediction by his congregation. ‘There are several women clergymen in this country. What a tremendous moral and immoral upheaval will presently come from the crinoline question. A GREAT TRUTH. RANCE WILL remain‘a republic.. That this is possible notwith- standing the Panama business is’ evidence of progress greater than any other since the close of our civil war. It is light out of darkness, purity from corruption, gold from the white heat of the furnace. A cheap matter of satisfaction would be the ducking of a few claimants to the exploded throne, but they are harmless enough to be merely laughed at. THE SMILING ROBERT. E ARE NOW ready for business,” says Robert Maxwell, “and changes will be made as rapidly as possible.” ‘The honest force and simplicity of this man nearly atone for the mugwump platitudes of the president who selected him as chief decapitator. He knows his busi- ness and is not ashamed of it. “Hurrah,” ejaculates the Sun, “for the office-seekers!" And let us hurrah for Robert Maxwell and add the tiger. a i A CORRUPTED PRESS. DWARD P. DEACON, who killed the ugly little Frenchman who had usurped his wife's affections, says the French press was paid to lie against him, by the wealthy relatives of his victim, at the rate of forty francs a line. That is too small a sum for newspapers that accepted a portion of the Panama millions, and therefore the story is a little unreasonable; but, alas! the French newspapers for a generation to come cannot reasonably deny any affirmation of that kind. THE DOCTRINE OF THE AMINADABS. R. CLEVELAND has given office to many of his personal friends. This is a species of nepo- tism that should be nipped in the bud, if it happen to have one. Un- doubtedly the friend is as bad as the relative, and the charge of fa- voritism can be applied to one as much as the other. The rule would seem to be that only’ personal ene- mies and enemies of the Demo- cratic party are eligible for favors, preference always to be shown to the mugwump, who is the enemy of our backbones against all manner of human nature, Mr. President! Reward of merit and appreciation of kindness are worms that are eating into the soul of the body politic. OUR DAVID. AN ARTICLE in Harper's Welty treats of the passing of Senator Hill, Now David never passes. He always orders himself up. We observe that he is going to make a speech in the new state of Washing- ton. It is likely to be a proclamation of purposes, perhaps a scheme for the reconciliation of silver and gold, that will attract attention and give him friends. A good general can do more with a small army than a poor general with a large one. David has many times fought millions of money with a nickel and a tooth-pick and won, and he may be able to do it again, At all events he mustn't be buried until he is dead. The un- dertaker who tries to officiate at his funeral will be hurt by the corpse. CONSCIENCE. HE CRUELEST WARS are those that are called religious, The government-that fights a religion may kill, but it cannot convince; and the seed of the suffering and the dead take glory for their cause from every case of martyrdom. But the “religious” war between opposing denominations is worse. It is remorseless. It is the fight with tooth and nail, It is the sowing of dragons’ teeth. It is within the religious con- science to torture and destroy because of honest conviction. It is right that Ireland should have home rule, but the Ulster protestants declare with awful earnestness that that means war to the death against the church opposed to them. Why does heaven permit these cruelties of conscience for the sake of conscience? ‘ comicbooks.com