Judge, 1893-04-01 · page 7 of 18
Judge — April 1, 1893 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a humorous short story about sibling manipulation disguised as a moral lesson. Mabel tells her brother Harry an elaborate fictional anecdote about a girl who bets her uncle she can keep her theatre-loving brother home—implying Harry cares more for entertainment than for her. Harry, guilt-tripped, actually skips the theatre. But Mabel's "story" was fabricated; she never made any bet. Harry realizes he's been duped on April Fool's Day, having sacrificed a play he wanted to see based on a lie. The satire targets both theatrical obsession and sibling manipulation. The accompanying cartoons mock theatre etiquette—particularly the nuisance of overweight patrons squeezing into seats, disrupting other viewers ("The Fullest Extent of the Law" and "Hats Off"). The page also includes an unrelated joke about poets writing one-sided love poetry, and a brief editorial dialogue.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE SHE TOLD HIM A STORY. MABEL FOSDICK rejoiced in the pos- session of a wealthy uncle with a passion for betting and a brother with a passion no less strong for theatre-going. Tt was the last day of March, and Friday, the night which always found Harry Fosdick at one or another place of amusement. After dinner Mabel said to her brother, “Harry, I want to tell you a story.” “Go ahead, Mabel.” “Once there was a girl who had a brother very fond of the theatre. One day she was boasting to her wealthy uncle how much this brother cared for her, and the uncle said, “*Pooh! He doesn’t care enough for you to remain away from the theatre one night at your request.” “*Indeed he does,’ the sister pro- tested earnestly. x “Well,” the uncle went on, ‘I'll just One Cee night, the moon being bet you a thousand dollars against a box This young man found he'd lost his of cigars that he doesn't.” pull. “Til take that bet,’ the girl added. “*Done,’ said the uncle.” “Is that all the story?” asked Harry as she. stopped. 5 «Yes, dear; that's >. THE: REASON. i all."? Then, looking him ‘ (Sue—" Why do you poets always glory-in writing one-sided Jove steadfastly in the eye, see Port (absently)—"* Well, you see, poblisber£ won't -soceptimane., oe. atudéd, “Harry, 1, script written on both sides.” pre SS * wish you wouldn't go meee . tothe theatre to-night.” “TL see," replied Harry as he gate adong’whistlése** You bet | won't go under circums stances like that.” pare The next morning the young mao said to-his sister, “Well, sis, I didn’t go to the theatre last night, and it was a play I was anxious to see too.” “You really cared enough for me to remain away because I asked you to, did you?” “I'm so gratified !" "But, sis, how much of that thousand dollars do I get?” * What thousand dollars?” “That you bet with Uncle George?” “I didn’t bet anything.” “Didn't you bet him a box of cigars against a thousand dollars that I would remain at home if you asked me to?” “Why, no; of course not.” “Well, what did that story mean that you told me last night?" “Oh, nothing. It-was just a little story—a sort of April-fool yarn.” | Then Harry remembered what day it was and went down-town in a discontented (rame of mind. ANNA PIERFORT SIVITRR, HATS OFF. This is the condition of things in the theatre when the fat man starts to i i squeeze along to his seat. This shows him seated. comicbooks.com /