Judge, 1893-03-25 · page 10 of 18
Judge — March 25, 1893 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short satirical vignettes mocking Victorian-era social pretensions and follies: **"On Guard"** ridicules romantic naïveté—a woman believes she's found her "ideal" in a man who merely settles for "a mighty good substitute." **"Study of Race Habits"** stereotypes Native Americans as drunk and easily bribed, reflecting period racist attitudes treating indigenous people as curiosities. **"Well Up But Not Posted"** mocks wealthy urbanites who are socially elevated but ignorant of current events. **"Beware of Imitations"** satirizes fraudulent patent medicines and the gullible women who endorse them in testimonial letters. **"Why"** and **"Her Limit"** target women's materialism—marrying for money and clothing expenses. **"Angelic Enough to Work the Hypothenuse"** uses mathematical wordplay to mock shallow courtship rituals. The page's primary targets are class pretension, gender stereotypes, quackery, and ethnic caricature—typical Judge magazine fare criticizing American society's absurdities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
rT SURPRISE; OK, THOSE FOLDING-BEDS. Miss Bon Bons —‘* Oh, excuse me one moment, Count—"Ah, now zat she’s out, I'll Count | praying first movement pianissi- count, while T get our family tree to show you.” * youst surprise her by playing a few move- mo)—"* Queer, Vere is no sound. I'll play . © ments on the piano,” ON GUARD. he whispered, nestling on his shoulder, u found your ideal ?” ven't,” was his guarded answer, “T've found a mighty good substitute.” A STUDY OF RACE HABITS. Traveler (crossing the continent)—"I don't believe that old fellow over there is a real Indian.” Conductor —" Ob, but he is.” Traveler —* Well, | just offered him a drink of whisky or a five-dollar bill for some of his truck, and I'm blest if he didn’t take the money.” Conductor —" That's the way with them Indians when they're drunk.” WELL UP, BUT NOT POSTED. Mr. Lofty (on twenty-sixth floor of the Eyri to elevator-boy) od-morning. Just come up Elevator-boy —" Yes, site” _ — (plays fortissimo)—Sacté | Mr. Lofty —" What is new in the city?" vot's der matter — BEWARE OF IMITATIONS. Jones —"\f Brown has never studied medicine how does he happen to be so well posted on diseases ?” v Because he’s a professional writer of letters from grateful women out in Michigan who have suffered untold agonies until told by a friend of the wonderful properties of Dr. Pillgarlic’s nervine and blood-purifier. WHY. May —"Why do you go abroad so early in the year?” Grace —" Well, 1 hear they're going to put a stop to pauper immigration and 1 want to. marry a duke.” HER LIMIT. He—"Wow many dresses would you require a year?" She—“ How many could you let He — Oh, say about ten.” She —"Then 1 think, dearest, I could get along with twenty-five.” ANGELIC ENOUGH TO WORK THE HYPOTHENUSE. Mr. St. Paul (to Miss Minnie Appolis)—" How charming to meet you! Do you come often?” A USE FOR THEM, Minnie Appolis—* Every day.” Gxrene —"* What is the sense in putting up all those grotesque Mr. St. Paul—* How far are your apartments from the fair?” statues in Central park 7" " 3 Minnie Appolis (stopping at the Cloudland)—" In a direct line about two We owe something to posterity. - ‘ What have they to do with posterity ?” miles, but you see that we have to come down to the street and then across, and Vell, won't they want something to swear at?” in that way papa thinks it is fully two miles and a half.” comicbooks.com