Judge, 1893-03-11 · page 7 of 16
Judge — March 11, 1893 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains multiple short comic sketches and jokes typical of the era's satirical humor. Key items include: **"A Conundrum"**: A pun comparing Columbus's expedition (which included navigator Martin Pinzón) to a baby's safety pins—clever wordplay for the period. **"That Drove Him to It"**: Satirizes the notoriously poor ventilation in George Pullman's railroad sleeping cars, suggesting it was so bad passengers would endure anything to escape them. **"Bound to Beat Her Neighbor"**: A woman comically tries to one-up her neighbor's divorce costs, treating legal fees as a status competition—social satire on wealthy competitive women. **"A Local Application"**: A Utah-specific joke about *Merchant of Venice*, implying Utah audiences (likely referencing polygamy) found the line about paternity personally offensive. **"Does Advertising Pay?"**: A visual gag about shirt advertisements featuring "Hands Wanted." The page also includes poetry and brief conversational humor. The overall tone reflects turn-of-century American upper-class social comedy and contemporary cultural references.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Box—" Sir, you're (hic) blame fool.” Cox— pote drank Box—"' Sir, 1 know I'm (hic) drunk. t'morrer, but you'll always be (hic) blame fool.” JUDGE A CONUNDRUM. s6LJERE'S a conun- drum, Witherup,” said Bosbyshell, “ What's the difference between Columbus's staff and a baby?” “What?” “One had Martin Pinzon and the other has safety-pins on.” A CORDIAL INVI- TATION. She—" Come around and call on me any time.” He—"Will you al- ways be at home?” She—" Not always. 1 sail for Europe to-mor- row.” A HIGH KOLLER, THAT DROVE HIM TO IT. Fangle—" see that Mr. Pullman contemplates improving the ventilation of his_sleeping-cars. Cumso—" Indeed? He must have been compelled to pass a night in one.” I shall be shober BOUND TO BEAT HER NEIGHBOR. oe D° DIVORCES come high?” inquired the timid little thing of the Chicago legal light. “Oh, no, ma‘am,” he replied. “What did Mrs. Highflyer pay for hers last week?” “One hundred and fifty dollars.” “Well, you may get me one for two hundred. I'm no slouch.” EXTENDING THE NOMENCLATURE. Hojack—"So long, Tomdik. hour at the Hotel Bigley.” Tomdik— Very well. T'll meet you in an I have to step around to the Butcher-shop Muller and the Grocery Briggs to leave some orders first.” A LOCAL APPLICATION. * How did the ‘ Merchant of Venice’ take out “AIL right everywhere except in Utah; but there, when Launcelot Gobbo declared that ‘it is a wise father that knows bis own child,’ the people all took it as a personal insu’t and left the house.” DOES ADVERTISING PAY? Mr. JAcKson—"' Whad's dat—han's wanted on shirts up-stairs 2 A SOULFUL FLOWER. AL GIFTED bloom—chrysanthemam— Your Paderewski gaze, Your careless love-locks, quite benumb My brain's unsettled maze. I scarce know, when mine eyes you feast, If you're ‘a flower—or great artiste. The waves xesthetic of your bang, In lines like crimpled foil, Play on my sensibilities Till all my nerves recoil— And yearnings rise, botanic gnome, To offer you a small round comb. s SEWALL RRAD, A SAD TRUTH. 66] DON'T think the intellectual ele- ment in American literature has developed very much of late,” said Crit- icus. No,” said Witticus. “It has been side-tracked by the dialectual clement.” RAINY-WEATHER TALK. SEYOUR trousers just_now remind me of Miss Lord- ly's nose.” “How so?” “They're both turned up at the end.” HEROIC RESOLY Fosdick —" Wow to-day? Keedick — can't plain. ‘ How are you?” Fosdick—"1 can complain, but I won't.” are you com: TIGERS FOR HER. Flora (looking over Uncle Jack’s JUDGE) —"I like these papers. The pictures are so funny! My Christmas books are all full of lambs and things.” —Guess dere’s no need goin’ upstairs. Put mah han’s on ‘em right down liar.” comicbooks.com