Judge, 1893-03-04 · page 6 of 16
Judge — March 4, 1893 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple unrelated satirical short jokes and cartoons typical of Judge magazine's format: **"The Cash Was Ready"** mocks temperance reformers by having a young man claim he can "afford" the drink habit because he has money saved for a Keeley cure (a real but often-ridiculed alcohol treatment program). **"A Disgruntled Ghost"** jokes about spiritualism's decline—a medium lost her séance powers because her client husband deliberately gave false answers about his evening activities. **"An Incomplete Book"** features Yiddish-dialect humor (common in period American comedy) where an immigrant father suggests a dictionary called "The Bright Lexicon of Youth" because it contains no word for "fail." **"Just the Man for an Ambulance"** satirizes hiring by having a circus chariot-racer deemed perfect for ambulance driving. **"Floral Heterophasia"** punches at florist errors—sending forget-me-nots to a grandfather's funeral instead of wheat to a dancer. The remaining items are brief, throwaway gags about servants, costumes, and accidents—standard filler content demonstrating Judge's variety-show approach to satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN ILLUSTRATION, Jupcr—" Show the jury about how you killed Prisoner—* I pulled out me rewolver an'-— him. THE CASH WAS READY. «© YOUNG man,” said the temperance-worker ear- nestly, “can you afford to contract the dreadful drink habit “Oh, yes.” was the ready reply. “‘I have the price of a Keeley scholarship stowed away in bank.” A DISGRUNTLED GHOST. She—" Mrs, Jackson used to be a fine medium, but she says she has lost her power.” He— jackson hates table-rapping, so he put her up to asking her first husband’s spirit where he used to spend his evenings.” AN INCOMPLETE BOOK. Lkey Blumenstein— Fader, der teacher says 1 must puy a digtionary.” Blumenstein—* Vell, don'd you puy de digtionary called de pright legsicon ohf youth.” They Blumenstein—Vy, fader?” Blumenstein—* Begauze id has no such vord as { PROVEMENT. fail.” The cowboy of the near future, JUST THE MAN FOR AN AMBULANCE, S4YOU are right,” said the man in charge; “we do want ambulance-drivers. But it’s hard work to drive an ambulance. What experience have you had?” “I used to be one of Barnum’s four-horse chariot-racers in the old hippo- drome,” said the applicant. “You'll do,” said the other. FLORAL “HETEROPHASIA.” Primus—Hobson is suing Periwinkle the florist for confusing two of his orders made the same afternoon.” Secundus—" How was it?” Primus —" Why, he made Hobson send a bunch of forget-me- nots to his grandfa- ther's funeral and a sheaf ‘of wheat to a ballet-girl at the mat- inée.”* PURELY AN AC- CIDENT. Landlady —"Mr. Oldboarder,the servant reports that there is a hole in your carpet.” A SEASONABLE COSTUME. Oldboarder—" You Ciok—"Fo' de Lawd sake! what kind ob clo's hab yo’ mustn't blame me, got on?’ ;. seine madam. One of your Erugum—" Pepper-an'-salt. Like ‘em? illows fell off the bed Cw.01 ars ter me dere's mighty little meat {ur so much Pillows fell off the pepper an” salt.” last night.” “HEART-PAILURE.” comicbooks.com