Judge — March 4, 1893 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE WILLIAM’S SHARP PRACTICE. GYLVIO ZALETTI, the banana man, explains to his friend, Luigi Spaghetti, the organ man, how the state of Pennsyl- vania was founded. “You see it coma deesa way, Luigi. Willa da Penn, he whata call Quaker man, He wanta dosa land. He looka like vera simple man, buta he no foola. He vera quiet, noa fighta, noa drinka, noa chewa, noa carra da gun or da stillet. He leava off dosa creza pants, dosa plug hatta, an’ weara broda- brimma hatta, an’ hes pants reacha onla to da knee, an’ he carra da brancha da tree. “Da Indiano chief taka Willa da Penn to hees campa, an’ Willa he smoka peaca da pipe with Indiano. Da all smoka da pipe ‘cept one younga dude with Willa, who lighta da cigretto. Indiano chief smella da air an’ say, ‘Data dog stew musta be burna,’ an’ Willa da Penn winka young man trow way da cigretto. “Den all eata da stew, an’ afta da refreshamento Willa da Penn maka da speechiment to peop’ rounda da table, justa lika Mista Depew. He say, ‘I giva you mora ten caska fire-wat" for alla da lan’ I covera up wid a bulla da skin.’ Indiano que Latest THING 1n—chiefa say, ‘Giva da fire-wat’, taka da lan’’ Willa da Penn DRESS SUITS. he cuta da bulla skin in stripa an’ taka in da whole stata, an’ VERY CLOSE, js there much between George and Hilda?” HE—'* I saw them sitting on the sofa last evening and you couldn't have put an oyster-knife between them.” AN AMENDMENT. Teacher —* How many senses are there?” Tommy Tucker— Five.” Teacher—" That is right. What is your hand raised for, Benny Bloobumper?” Benny—“'Please, ma'am, there have been eleven censuses taken so far.” UP IN HARLEM. Featherstone —" This is a nice little room of yours, - old man, but how is it heated ?” IN LUCK. - Ringway —" When it gets too cold for me I light a Lazy Loxo—"' Hello, Mosey ! Hain't seen ye look so happy fara dog’s-age. Wot match.” luck hev ye struck now ?” ans dX be | SOG ETET. Mosty Rounp—" Luck? Look at me shoes! Der was a fashionable wedding up ' os ES der road here a piece and dey frowed shoes arter de bride, and I jest laid low till dey had oy gone and den I made a collection. Look at me shoes!’ Ain't dey beauts ?” T H ER TR calla dat stata after him own selfa, Indiano mad as hornetto, but do noa good. Drinka fire-wat’, goa to sleepa, everyboda in stata; peop’ in da Phila- deph’ not waka up yet.” J.B. cRANLRY, AT THE FANCY-DRESS BALL. First chaperon—" What character does Miss Bud represent to-night ?” Second chaperon —* Why, she's dressed as a page.” First chaperon —"And Miss Passe?” nd chaperon—" Oh, she’s a page too.” First chaperon —" Page two? She looks more like the last leaf.” A REMEMBERER. Mrs. Glanders (alter the guests have departed) — “Hopkins, why on earth did you announce Mr. and Mrs. Monk as ‘Mr. Monk and Mrs. Nun’ ?” The new butler (proudly) —"Thopes, mum, as I ‘aven’t forgotten what I learned in school about masculine and feminine nouns, mum.” FOILED, ART formulates, but genius — pow Lin $i, Kier. shall we walk home slow, so dat I kin tell yez QUICK RETURNS AND LARGE PROFITS. produces, Sue—‘*Naw! Yez don't save no car-fare on me, cully. See?” comicbooks.com