Judge — February 11, 1893 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TURN ABOUT FAIR PLAY. “Ah,” remarked the can, ‘* I have been rushed many times; but every dog has his day, and now it is my turn to rush the growler.” ST. VALENTINE AND HIS DAY. VALENTINE POETS are made, not born. Fancy valentines come high, but the girls must have them, Politics, women and comic valentines break many a friendship. You may safely mail a penny valentine; that kind never miscarries. Valentines may yet be used as evidence in breach-of-promise cases. So far as comic valentines are concerned there is nothing funny about them to their recipients. Comic valentines are always mailed miles away from the homes of those who send them. Young ladies do not like comic valen- tines; it is the dealer who is generally “stuck” on them. When sending a comic valentine do not increase the agony of your victim by adding verses of your own, Young ladies sometimes send fancy val- entines to themselves; it does them no harm and excites envy in others. Young ladies receive high-priced valen- tines, put them on their mantels, and forget all about them. The penny ones they get they secrete in their pockets and brood over for six months or more. NATHAN M. LEVY, ‘THE more graceful the sinner the more disgraceful the act. “pT i i} Ly Mr. 01 Aig Alli. ae HLYN—'‘An’ phwat did th’ docther say t’ yez?” HLYN—"* Shure, Nora, Oi hov a sloight tech o' nomonie.” Mrs. O'PHtyn—“‘A sloight tech, isit? Divil a thing he knows about it, Oi kin tell yez. Yez hov no money at all, at all.” INDELIBLY IMPRESSED. Miss GazrwortH (coming in from the conservatory)—" Mamma, I'm— er—er—engaged to Major Backrank.”” Mrs. GazewortH— me of a sudden fear for ‘Miss GazewortH My dear, you relieve reputation.” don't understand you.” Mis. Gazewortut major dyes his mustache. * You forget that the A SURPRISE ALL AROUND. TWAS nice to send a valentine To her he loved sincerely, As well as to the maiden fine Who'd treated him unfairly ; But afterward he stood transfixed To find he had the letters mixed. REASONABLY EXPLAINED. ‘*CLAUDE, do you know what has be- come of the preserve that was in this bowl?” “You mean the evaporated peaches, ma’am?" “Yes.” “Don’t you think they might have evap- orated, mamma?” THE POET’S VALENTINE. 'HE time I knelt before her shrine In thrall she held this heart of mine, And well I loved my jailor; But now the only valentine I get is from my tailor. THE BORED ONE'S FRIGHT. Mr. BAcHE—"' Young Bartlett told me a creepy story to-day. "I was so overcome by it that I wanted to run.” Mr. Crus “* What about ?” ' His precocious baby.” OAS MUIG e — ae A SENSIBLE DIAGNOSIS. comicbooks.com