Judge, 1893-01-28 · page 7 of 16
Judge — January 28, 1893 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains brief satirical humor pieces typical of Judge magazine's social commentary. Key items include: **"IN SING SING"**: A prisoner complains about prison uniforms being "loud"—a pun, since he's incarcerated for forgery, making the complaint absurd. **"BY ANOTHER NAME"**: A woman claims she avoided quarantine by sailing later, treating quarantine as merely a "polite name" for cholera—satirizing either public health euphemisms or immigrants' casual attitude toward disease. **"SHE HAD HEARD OF THEM"**: A female train passenger mistakes a railroad conductor for a "Pullman-car porter," referencing Pullman porters as a known service class. **"HARD TO SUIT"**: Senator Peffner is mocked for his whiskers while simultaneously criticizing Mary Lease (a Kansas Populist politician) for having none—satirizing political absurdity and gender expectations. **"ON HIS METAL"**: A sardonic poem about Lady Justice having a painful "brass toe," suggesting the legal system delivers harsh punishment. The page mixes domestic humor, political jabs at contemporary figures, and social satire typical of 1890s American periodicals.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A LONG-FELT WANT. DEFEATED. THREE ministering angels went ‘To a sad soul with sympathy ; One mortal fool, with good intent, Undid the work of all the three. A BLESSING. Mrs. Witherby — "What is this key in your coat pocket? It isn’t our house-key, I know.” Witherby "No, That's my club latch-key.” Mrs, Witherby a good thing you don’t have to use it to get out of the club with.” BREAKFAST. CATHIE early bird gets the worm, So is the old saw set. There's no accounting for tastes, Wait, and the grub you'll get. BY ANOTHER NAME. Mrs, Jacobs —* Were you in any way affected by the quarantine when you landed ?" Mrs. Skimmer—"Oh, no. You know it is only a polite name for cholera, and we escaped it by sailing later.” y Umph! It’s JUDGE HIS VIEW OF IT. WHEN first our hopeful saw the spray Of water from a fountain’s cup He shouted with a wild “hooray,” ** Look, Daddy Will, it’s raining up!” LETTING HIM ALONE. First deacon—"1 know his preachin's broad, but I ain't goin’ to take the ‘sponsibility of bringin’ charges of heresy agin’ him. ‘Second deacon—"No; he might want a raise of salary.’ IN SING SING. aa | HATE these suits we have to wear,” said the man who was up for forgery.‘ They are so loud.” NS pote. nen, oe RE hatile ter + Miange a ON ILLUSTRATED SLANG EXPRESS!ONS. A dead snap. “You literary fellows are too particular,” said the retired gambler. “I rather like them — though when I'm at liberty I wear my stripes perpendicular and not horizontal.” SHE HAD HEARD OF THEM. Road-agent (entering the car and pointing two revolvers at the passengers) —‘ Everybody FAREWELL! ‘Teactter—"* Dickey, you may tell the class who Moses was.” Dickey Hicks —"' Please, ma'am, he was a bull-rusher.” throw up their hands. Shell out all yer vallybles. Get a move on now!” Mrs. Flickers (taking her first railway ride) —" Hiram, that must be one of the Pullman-car porters we've read about.” THE BEST WAY. WIEN you're getting aged, Out of health and pelf, Now to keep your birthday — Keep it to yourself. AN OPEN SECRET. She—"If so much was to be gained by it why didn't he make @ secret of his marriage?” He—"“ He decided it would be impossible. You see the girl was bound to be in it.” HARD TO SUIT. 44] THINK the press is hard to please,” said Senator Peffer meditatively. “About what, senator?” “Well, I have whiskers and the newspapers are everlastingly harping about them, while Mrs. Lease has no beard and yet that doesn’t suit ‘em.” ON HIS METAL. DAME Justice has a leaden heel, But when she kicks I know, From sundry feelings that I feel, She has a sharp brass toe. ECKED TENOR—"* F-a-r-e— r oe “A long f-2-r-e—well.” “* Fea-r-e—well! f-a-r-e— comicbooks.com