Judge — December 24, 1892 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CAMADA, IN ADVANCE One copy, one year, of s2 numbers - $5.00 x months. or a6 numbers - 3.50 tas 3 wi pees Including the Cxistuas Jupce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all for- ign countries in the postal union, ‘$6.0 year THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JuDGE BuILpiNc), Cor, Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York. (BW e guarantee advertisers a targer circulation than any other American satiré- cal paper published. The Juve is for sale at Brentano's, 17 Avenue de Opera, Paris; Smith, Ainslee & feweastle street, Strai yndon, England: at Saarbach's American Exchange, by Ch. B Alioth, Geneva, Switteriand. (2 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—All the pictures in the Juoce are copyrighted, and must not be reproduced without the permission of the proprietors. Infringement upon this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. THE CHRISTMAS TABLE that doesn’t have a Cleveland duck on it is only half blessed. [TWAS given out that Mr. Cleveland while ducking lost seven pounds —of duck, we suppose. WE SUPPOSE that on Christmas day Wan Johnamaker will make the sweetest prayer outside of the molasses- barrel. . SENATOR HILL is a very Samson in his fight against Cleveland, and if he keeps on will pull down the Democratic house. At LAST ACCOUNTS there were seven comets and an immense scat- tering vote, with Jupiter and Mars yet to hear from. LET US HOPE that Mr. Cleveland will not be so fatigued with the festivities of Christmas that he will have to go hunt- ing or to bed. es [TIS EQUALLY untrue to say that Chairman Carter is on his uppers. He is simply afflicted with cracked hoofs and bleeding fetlocks. AT THIS SEASON all wrongs should be forgiven, or postponed. Even the detectives ought to forgive Lizzie Borden for her innocence. cee QUR DIANA has been condemned to the pot by the art critics of Chicago. Most persons who go to Chicago go straight to that receptacle. Futter Briars— Somebod CHRISTMAS COMES at the wrong time of year, in this climate, for our colored friends. “Swing low, sweet chariot; but there isn’t any watermelon, THE STOCKINGS of the office-seekers are mostly without heel or toe, and that of Davy Hill hasn't a leg wherewith to hang itself to a peg of the cabinet or foreign-mission fireplace. THE NEEDLE'S EVE was doubtless watered and enlarged for Jay Gould's benefit, and the great financier is probably trying at this writing to get up a corner in the values of the New Jerusalem. HIRTEEN SAT at table in a Chicago residence on Christmas day a year ago, and, merciful heaven! twelve are married and the thirteenth is raving mad because he can’t find the seventh woman who wasn't there. MOTTO FOR THESE CHIMES. OOD WILL to American labor, and give us laws that will tax the foreign article so that it will stay at home. Ring out the old, ring TALKING THROUGH His HAT. Say, bubby, I'm Santy. Claus. stole my clo’es an’ reindeers. an’ I'll give yer twicet as many things nex’ Chris'mus,”” in the new, with that kind of music in the belfry, you men of this expiring congress ! WEIGHED DOWN WITH BLESSINGS. T FOLLOWS naturally, since, as the World says, Mr. Whitney can have any office he wants, that he wants no office whatever. That's always the way, “To him that hath,” etc. We have often thought that, outside of the holiday season, that is one of the things that make the average man want to pray with an interrogation-point at the end of every impassioned proclamation of gratitude. A COUPLE OF SIDE-LIGHTS. R. BRIGGS is fighting for the right to have his own convictions against the alleged convictions of the church that pays him his salary. With this bare statement and no side issues his best place would seem to be out of the church; but the main question appears to be whether the church ought not to drop the convictions, so called, which have worn out and which it dare. not ask any of its clergymen to preach. Suppose Dr. Briggs should preach the creed as it stands—would he not shock the church and the world more than anybody is shocked now? THE DEMOCRATIC PUDDING. I" DISTRESSES ONE to see how quickly and ardently the Cleveland and the Hill wings of the Democratic party begin to flap against each other, to the imminent danger of the body between, now that the party has everything its own way. It was hoped that there would be peace out of deference to Christ- mas harmony for a little while; but each wants to dictate as to the management and distribution of the Christmas feast, and there is a clash as shocking as that of the two angry clergymen who wanted each to deliver the Christmas blessing. Alas! how futile are our efforts to bring reformation and happiness to the political world. GROVER AS AN ANGEL. OHN TYLER and Andy Johnson thought they knew more than the parties which took them out of the ditch and made them conspicuous. They are now remembered chiefly to be execrated byevery old Whig and every old Republi- can, and they got nothing from the party to which they seceshed. It is possible that Grover Cleveland is wiser than they, but it is nevertheless the truth that the Demo- cratic party has twice elected him presi- dent. If patriotism dictates to him the Tyler-Johnson article of treachery—some- times it is mistakenly called heavenly wis- dom—he will be lamentably surprised. ‘The JUDGE, in its serene outlook among the whipped, believes in practical politics and desires no funeral; but no man can be an angel on this earth without damage to his harp and halo. GLORIFY THE CHRISTMAS DOME. XCESS IS DISSIPATION. A little wine is good for the soul and not without benefit for the body, but the swollen head and the jaded limbs are an abomination before high heaven. A casual chat with Christ- mas once a year, a little hilarity, a gay meeting and a quick parting, with a laugh and a toss of the head and hand, how pleasant and profitable they are! but the beginning of Christmas in October and the ending it well along in the new year are not'sufficiency so much as surfeit. Still, if one must needs tear happiness to tatters and make a fool of himself from good feeling, Christmas is the best time for that soft and tempora- rily gratifying extravagance. If he is ever going to rob himself and various others to give munificently to somebody else, this is the hour for the rob- bery—and may the world forgive hin’ as freely as will those of us who have gone to heaven. If one must lift the rafters of the blue vault to make room for his soul let him take his paint and redden the atmosphere beyond right now. For there is that prudence, that miserliness, that mean- ness, which is more to be deplored than the utmost of foolish generosity, and the man with a heart is more to be loved than the one with merely a gizzard. But let us draw the line. Let us put it, say, a thousand miles north of our income and go up to it on the wings of the morning. Let us have a merry Christmas—regardless of expense. See? Jus’ give me a nickel comicbooks.com