Judge, 1892-12-03 · page 10 of 52
Judge — December 3, 1892 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical page from Judge magazine contains multiple comic vignettes mocking various social pretensions and absurdities of the era. **"Just a Fit"** uses racist dialect humor (common in period magazines) to mock aspirational working-class people imitating wealth—a Black woman comparing her jewelry to the Astor family's status symbols. **"A Young Philosopher"** jokes about sibling rivalry and greed. **"Quite a Hint"** satirizes parents' struggles with children's material expectations at Christmas. **"Warned"** plays on courtship customs—a stern father warns his daughter against accepting gifts from suitors, but she jokes she'll accept presents from *all* proposing men within a month. **"A Traveling Savant"** depicts a tramp fraudulently claiming to be a "walking delegate" for the American Science Association to justify stealing a turkey, checking its "pulse" with pseudoscientific pretension. **"Away from the Village Store"** mocks a rural man attempting city commerce, offering eggs and pelts for a diamond ring—satirizing class and regional differences. The page's overall theme: Christmas exposes human greed, social climbing, and pretension across class lines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CHRISTMAS JUDGE JUST A FIT. “ E{ doan’ mek dem coons star’ when I sweeps in wif dese long dimons ‘pon mah ears, mah name ain’ Astor. Yo! heah me talkin?” A YOUNG PHILOSOPHER. Mother—*\f you don't take that orange off the Christmas-tree with- in a week it will have grown twice as large.” Young hopeful—That wouldn't do me any good, ma. If it was as big as that sister would want half.” QUITE A HINT. Brown— Would you like an express-wagon for Christmas ?" Little Johnnie—"Um-um; but 1 don't want such a measly little thing as I saw you drag home to-day.” AN UNAUTHORIZED EXCHANGE. Cobwigger—" 1 wonder where Freddie got the box of figs?” Mrs, Cobwigger—" 1 suppose you know the grocer didn’t send home THEN HE SPOKE. 66. WE WENT skating on Christmas day. I tried hard to get him to propose; but there we sat, and though he saw I knew what he was thinking of, he just remained silent until I hit upon an idea.” “ What was it?” “1 dug my skates with some force into the slippery surface and asked him to notice how easy it was to break the ice.” WARNED. 66 YOU cannot accept any presents from men, Angelina,” remarked the stern parent, “ save from your fiancé.” “All right, pa,” replied the dear girl; “1 have a month in which to accept every one who proposes.” A TRAVELING SAVANT. Faraer Crinas—"' I've got yer now. Take yer hand off that turkey !” GENTLEMANLY TRAMP—" You wrong me, speaking so harshly, I'm walking delegate for the American science association. I was simply feeling a Pe eer | the bird's pulse to ascertain if the approaching Christmas ceremonies had any the bottle of wine he always throws in during the holidays.” effect on his nervous organization.” AWAY FROM THE VILLAGE STORE. Mr. PaTEKson (of Jersey, at Biffany's)—" I've got sick of tradin’ out our way, an’ I ‘lowed t' Mary this morniz that I'd try one dicker in N’ York, What kind of a dimund-ring can yer give me fer four barrel of eggs an’ eight coon-skins 7” comicbooks.comul